sad

hey all, im still around if you're reading this (:

ayo idk if anybody looks at this but i may end up editing some of my old fics and posting them on this account @pumpkinjimin so,,,

hi ): im sad about unus annus, sigh ))): it ends in 7 days.

my inkitt is egoraptor btw!!

sighs

i changed my ff.net user !! its no longer victoronice

):

Today my account turns 4, and wow, I can't believe I've had wattpad for 4 years now. It almost doesn't feel real ???
          
          idk if I would still be on this app if it weren't for my first few friends here ( @-NightShadow- , @fathomlessfear and @ThreeCheersForIero - if any of you see this-- hi, ily and i miss you a lot and wish you well <3 ) who supported me and encouraged me when I first published My Angel, my first work, on July 10th, 2015 (and if it weren't for all the lovely frerard fics that were out at the time).
          
          I'm a much better writer now, when I actually do write, but my old works, frerard in general and this account makes me so nostalgic. I sometimes wish I could go back and re-live it all one more time.
          
          I miss it, I miss my old friends, the works, the mcr fandom, etc, but I changed accounts because I was lonely here. I'm not very active anymore, but I'm still here, still on wattpad.
          
          If any of you are interested in chatting with me, please come talk to me @pumpkinjimin. Ily guys, thank you for everything.
          
          -Sarah

):

04/18/18 • 04/18/19
          
          i can't believe that a year ago today, i told you of my feelings for you. i was scared then and i'd only just realized them that day or a few before. once i told you, i felt a little better but still very giddy and nervous. i didn't want to ruin what friendship we had.
          
          i knew that you didn't feel the same then because you barely knew me, but i'd hoped that, with time, you could. i had hope that we could end up together even though you said you weren't relationship material and that you didn't want to hurt me.
          
          (and now i think about how things might be different if i said more then, if i was more honest with you about my feelings after and if i'd stopped being scared to make you upset with me, if i'd ever asked how you really felt about me and if it was the same way that i felt.)
          
          a year has passed, with you knowing, and me pining and hoping maybe you'd finally give me a chance as my feelings grew stronger, and us talking about those feelings again more than once (though sometimes not on good notes), and with us talking and getting to know each other better.
          
          a whole year has passed, and nothing has changed except for the fact that now you're unattainable. we're not together, we never were, and we never would be (would we?). you have her now, and despite how distant you have become, you seem happier.
          
          i could never compete with her; she's so much better. you care far more for her.
          
          and as sad as that makes me, i can't even try to be happy for you, even if i want to. i just hope you know that if one day, things were to ever magically change and somehow you really see me, i'll be waiting here for you.