Broken Boy

I LOVE YOU

Hey what if I made a little novella on here about our Sky characters? And also how do you feel about the name Rayder for that red character? It means guidance and counsel basically which I think suits them nicely :)

Day three of spamming your message board :D <3

Hey I love you! 

This ain't your message board anymore it's mine 

I'm not sure if you're on here anymore, but gonna be honest, I made an 10,000th account to write (again)!
          
          

What do you do when the person who could make you stop hurting and stop crying no matter how hard you cried or how much you were hurt, is exactly the one that put you in this situation now?

Sorry for this little rant. There may be more to follow:
          
          I had my heart broken a few nights ago. And then a wedding a few days after that. As selfish as this sounds, I hated being there. Surrounded by all this love. Supporting love that lasted and survived. I got through the day. And I keep getting through the days. But nights are hard. No one is really up, meaning there aren't many distractions. And I find myself lingering on him. I mean, why wouldn't I, we were together for almost four years. But it hurts. It hurts so much. And I keep smiling for everyone but I feel so depressed. So empty. Like I lost a piece of me. So I try to write, but the words won't come out. I can't fill the page. And soon, instead of the paper being filled with ink, it's filled with tears. And I can't stop them. I cry because everywhere I look, I still see him. I cry because I still get reminded of how much I love him. And how much I didn't want to let go. He was my best friend. The person i couldn't wait to talk to. I still love him. Why do I still love him? I wish I could make my shattered heart stop. In him I saw a future. He was the one for me. Someday I wanted to ask this boy to marry me. But in me, he did not see that. Perhaps that is what crushes me the most. 

ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ⁿᵒʷ ᵐʸ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ...ⁱ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ ⁱ'ᵐ ᵒⁿ ᵗᵒᵖ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵃᵍᵉ, ⁱᵈᵏ ⁱ ᵃᵐ ᵛᵉʳʸ ᵃʷᵏʷᵃʳᵈ

Sometimes, I wonder why I try to be here. Sometimes, it gets a little too hard to smile. Sometimes, I want to believe I'll be okay. Sometimes, I wanna break down and show how not okay I am. Sometimes, I wanna inflict pain on myself again. Sometimes, I don't want to wake up tomorrow.
          
          
           Tonight is one of those times.