@AshBashio
Ive been burying myself in my writing. Is that good? Sure. But it also means I'm burying myself as a whole. Disappearing into my writing is the only thing that seems to make me not miserable lately. It's lonely either way, but at least I can put myself into a fictional character's shoes and pretend to feel the love that I give them. By disappearing this way, I don't have to up and disappear literally like I want to daily.
I want freebies ideas for Seventeens concert! Just went to ATEEZ for my bday and was worth it but I want to do good for Seventeen, I want to make peoplehapoy so I want ideas for freebies to make or provide. Going to sleep mdlyinebriated but it's all good
I can feel the depression wave coming and I'm already feeling like I can't share my kpop comfort things and people with friends, so that's just making it even worse. It sucks to feel this restricted that I don't feel comfortable sharing things that make me happy with people that should care but don't seem like it. So now I keep them to myself but I feel guilty for finding comfort in them, which makes me feel even worse.
It kinda feels like I made a cake to share with my friends, right? But when I tell them about it and offer it to them, they just brush it off with a 'that's cool' before going back to something else or telling me they don't care for cake. So I try the 'whatever, more for me then' approach, but then as I look at the cake, I feel bad for making it and trying to share. Like how could I have thought that they would have thought the cake was important?
Idk if that makes any sense but needed to dump that out here before I passed out for the night. Sorry for the lack of writing lately, was working on writing some stuff for a new story I was really excited about but now need to get this feeling out of the way so I can keep going on it. I'll try to get some stuff written soon, not that I think anyone's waiting on me or anything.
@AshBashio Never feel guilty for sharing how you feel/ your interest (considering you have the coolest interest/hobbies of all time!) Stay true to you! !(Your metaphor was super cute btw!!)
@Wantsobad_MinsungSkz the sad thing is, they don't even need to share the interests or be passionate about them, I just don't wanna feel bad for not putting another group/member before another or something. It's not like my friends purposely make me feel bad but remarks they make and ways they act have me feeling more alone now so I'm just gonna start keeping it to myself. And don't worry about reading my stuff, just whenever you can hun, no rush. You know where to find it when you're ready and you know I'm around to message whenever you need to talk.
I wish I was someone's person. Not the fall back, not the backup, not the last resort, not the resource. I suppose it's true that those who enjoy writing feel the most alone.
On that note, take care of yourselves. Drink your water, eat the noms, tell someone you love them. Do the thing.
I hate when my brain decides to have like 253,028 story/writing ideas and I'm not even done with the ones I've started
@AshBashio real, I abandon them then start with the new ideas that I thought of at 3am TT
