@AnxiousEmoNightmare
Family: play some of the music you like for us lol
Me: okay, if you insist.
*skips past song about murder*
*skips past song about sex*
*skips past song about gays*
The song I can’t skip: *about religious trauma*
Me: :)
Me: you know what, let’s not play my music…
The Bad of a show/book/game/movie/series: *cryptid noises*
The fandom: aWWWW BABEY
(Me too, guys, I’m just reporting what I see)
William: Michael is genuinely hard to amuse. As is CC.
Therapist: okay...
William: wHERAS ELIZABETH.
Therapist:
William: GIVE HER ONE (1) SCOOP OF ICE CREAM AND SHE'LL BE FINE FOR THREE HOURS.
Therapist, trying not to laugh:
William: IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO BE IN A BOWL OR CONE OR ANYTHING.
Therapist: ...what.
William: HAND IT TO HER, SHE'LL LITERALLY EAT IT OUT OF HER HAND AS IT DRIPS DOWN HER ARM.
Therapist: oh that's something.
Honey: that's not the worst and weirdest thing about her.
Therapist: dear god.
Matt: Jason, will you marry me?
Jason: ???
Matt: uh.
Jason: I mean, of course, but didn't we already get??? Married???
Matt: whet-
Roger, legally their son: lol, yeah. Y'all were drunk and I was flower girl.
Alastor, reading the paper during 2020: the Italians have been stockpiling EVERY SINGLE type of pasta except (excuse my pronunciation if I fuck it up) the penne lisce.
Alastor: even in a mass hysteria caused by our pandemic, Italians can't bring themselves to buy or eat these.
Val: the moment Italians start buying penne lisce will be the moment we know our society has truly collapsed.
Angel: LISTEN. If I'm gonna die, I do NOT want my last meal to be fucking penne lisce.
Alastor: can you explain why Italians hate it so much, dear? I'm extremely curious.
Angel: well, first...penne lisce is smooth and doesn't hold sauce they way penne rigate does.
Alastor: I didn't know smooth penne existed.
Angel: THERE IS NO FRICTION ON PENNE LISCE. IF YOU SNEEZE TOO HARD ANYWHERE NEAR IT, THE SAUCE ON IT WILL FLY OFF. YOU CAN LITERALLY COOK IT IN TOMATO SAUCE AND IT WILL STILL TASTE LIKE YOU DID NOTHING BUT BOIL IT.
Alastor:
Val:
Vox: I love how this global situation has brought us to the absolute limits of our humanity in all ways.
Angel: PENNE LISCE IS BAD PASTA AND NO ONE SHOULD EAT IT.
Tim: So here’s the tea.
Toby: For the last time, it’s called a “mission report”.
Tim: Do you want the tea or not?
When you think about it, Alastor probably kept up with fashion and trends really well up until he died. He's probably one of the more chaotic characters because of that because he can straight up tell you what slang was popular in which particular MONTHS as well as the fashions and the hairstyles. He's basically an encyclopedia about everything from the twenties and early thirties.
But when you think about it some more, he probably would've kept up after his death too, although it didn't matter then.
But after the First Broadcast in Hell, when he toppled Overlords and stole the title, he was pretty isolated. He didn't see much in the way of recent trends, fashions, politics, etc. after that.
So he was basically stuck in this little bubble of his time period because no one would get close enough to catch him up.
I think I would've written him with a form of DID, with his AM radio form (the Alastor we all know and love) and his FM form (a more trendy, fashionable Alastor who speaks without much static and is more commonly seen in a studio environment, jockeying music for his station) because radio is actually pretty fluid.
AM is still something that runs but the quality is different, it has a different vibe, kinda older feeling.
And then FM radio was invented to play stuff and it's what some people prefer, from my limited knowledge on the topic.
But I will stand by my opinion that radio is a fluid mess, because I'm probably not wrong.
Michael: Well, who’s to say Jesus wasn’t agnostic?
Cassidy: That would mean he was skeptical of the existence of his own father.
Michael: Man, I can relate.
*draws characters that give me gender envy*
Wow I hope this doesn't make me feel worse about my body.
Cousin watched my normally chill ass rage so they could see the vein in my forehead and yet they still decided to keep going on me.
My left ear hurts now because they slapped it for physically engaging.
Little bastard deserves worse than me grabbing his face to shut him up.