1nsan3Cl0wn

Logging out might come back later

1nsan3Cl0wn

this message may be offensive
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          I hate being autistic so fucking much, it feels like everyone I know is in on a constant joke on me and I'm the only one that doesn't know. It feels like nobody actually cares about my needs and just helps me to sound like a good person. I am constantly forcing myself to talk to people even when I'm at the point where if I talk too much, I feel like I'm going to pass out because when I don't talk to people they think I'm mad at them. Nobody cares about my comfort when it comes to the stuff I eat, do, and my comfort of socializing. I get bad grades in school for fidgeting, not making eye contact, and not being able to present in front of the class. My mother refuses to believe I'm disabled and says that I do the same stuff way too often when the only reason I like to eat, wear, and have a schedule for the day is because I'm autistic. I hate the fact that I can't get the help I need because I'm 'barley autistic' when I'm just masking. I hate that I am doing bad in classes because I am autistic. I hate the fact that every day is a struggle to even wake up and talk to my friends. I hate that when I am stressed out from talking so much, people think I hate them. I hate that I can't try textured foods because of sensory issues. I hate that I'm autistic. I hate everyone who chooses to judge me instead of trying to help me. I hate everyone online who only thinks of autistic people as jokes. I hate getting called slurs at school. 

Princesslucy22

I understand i’m autistic as well it can’t be quite hard sometimes 
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1nsan3Cl0wn

I'm just updating to saying that my mental health has gotten way better since I last posted, and I've genuinely gotten way happier 

1nsan3Cl0wn

@1nsan3Cl0wn Although my sleep issues are one of the only things that hasn't gotten better haha watching a 2 hour movie rn at 3am
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1nsan3Cl0wn

@1nsan3Cl0wn, I will try to continue to post and update stuff on here, but now I actually have stuff I like to do offline, so I hope you won't mind the gaps in between posts and updates
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