poppy

guys i’m back in my clato era

i desperately need someone to edit the maze runner to change by taylor swift 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          change is so tmr coded and it hurts every time i listen to it just because i think about tmr.
          

should i re-enter my writing era?
          been thinking about it a lot lately, but idk why i'm posting to ask when nobody responds anymore tbh.

hearing linger by the cranberries out in public was not on my 2024 bucket list

i’m so alone. nobody’s left. they’re all gone. i’m alone and i cant take it anymore. yes there’s people around me, but the second i want to talk they leave, they walk away. nobody wants to listen to me. nobody cares that i’m not okay. nobody even cares that i’m broken and need help. or that i need somebody to care. or that maybe, just maybe, all i want is for someone to care enough to ask if i’m okay. because i’m not. i don’t understand how everyone else does it. how do you all act like it’s fine when it’s not? how do you keep on going through your days and not breaking down?
          
          it’s okay though because it’s just a little longer.

i love being yelled at for something i didn’t know i was supposed to do! it’s so fun! i love trying to be a mind reader!

it’s the way i just lied to my friend about not being able to go to her bday party. 
          
          all because i don’t think she actually wants me there and is just using me to make it seem like she has more friends. 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          she literally only said maybe two words to me this week, she only talks to me when there’s nobody else around. 

sometimes it’s hard to keep going and i question how i still can. then i remember that it’s not just me in this world. and that no matter how alone i feel there will always be someone who cares even if they don’t do the best at showing it.

do you ever just get overwhelming waves of sadness? i sure do.

i don’t think they care about me anymore. nobody does. nobody ever texts me first or checks up on me. they only do it if i do. how do people do this? how do you keep on living when nobody cares about you?