Goblin Slayer x Reader One Shots

{drunk confession}

request by: @ToriNoriOri

"Awe come on, Y/n just one drink?" Elf Archer pleaded. "Listen, I've already told you many times that I don't drink," you huffed.

"But it's so much fun! You forget all the day's problems and it helps you loosen up a bit." You felt your eye begin to twitch in aggravation. "I'm tired of your useless persuasions. I am not drinking. Plus what's the point when you're just going to get a hangover the next day?"

"It's all in the moment! Sure the hangover will come, but it's all about enjoying yourself," she shouted. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you when you're already drunk!"

The drunken elvish woman began to howl in laughter. "Man, you humans are so hilarious!! I bet you're too afraid to have a drink!" Your fist slammed on the table, startling your fellow party members. Goblin Slayer simply observed in amusement.

"I'm not afraid of drinking! I simply don't care for it!"
"How can you not care for it if you've never tried it?!"
The two of you started to bicker back and forth, shouting remarks and various name calls. "Ladies please, you're frightening the people around us," said Dwarf Shaman.

"I don't care let them be frightened!—hic*," the elf slurred. You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. "This is so idiotic," you groaned. "If—if anything's idiotic, it's you! Ya sissy!" Oh gods you wanted to pulverize the swine standing lop-sided in front of you.

"Alright screw this," you yelled before taking a long swig of alcohol. Meanwhile Goblin Slayer sat utterly flabbergasted. 'That's kind of hot...' he thought.

A dynamite of flavors exploded on your tongue and in the back of your throat. Ah shit. What'd you gotten yourself into? You didn't dare allow a single hint of discomfort show on your face. You merely cleared your throat, sat back down and waited for a reply.

Elf Archer's jaw nearly dropped to the table. "WTF YOU HANDLE YOUR ALCOHOL SO WELL ! !" You simply shrugged at her as you attempted to play dumb.

The elf suddenly slammed two bottles of wine on the table. "Since you seem like a tough drinker, I-I challenge you to a contest! Whoever drinks the most in the shortest amount of time wins!" Well you were screwed.

Whatever you drank a moment ago already made you tipsy, so this competition was definitely going to hammer you down.

And like the fool you were, you accepted.

idk like a few seconds later?

Your throat felt as if it was in flames by the time you managed to choke down the remaining fluid.

The now empty bottle of wine rolled off the table and bounced off the stone flooring. "Well that was interesting..."  Lizard Priest mused. You moaned in agony as you let your head hit the table surface.

"I win~" you slurred. "Shut-shut up~! Yer' more drunk I am," the woman stammered with flaring cheeks. With your sights still facing your lap, you began to laugh at—well pretty much nothing.

"Will they be okay?" asked a troubled Priestess. "They'll be fine. All they need is some rest," said Dwarf Shaman.

You felt the rest of your wait fall against the goblin-obsessed tin man sitting beside you. You lifted your head, which instantly dropped on his shoulder. "Slayer, I don't feel so well—hic*" He turned to you and inspected your miserable state.

There was no way you could even make it to the door without collapsing. The man rose from his seat and without a word and crouched down to your level. "Get on my back."

With half-lidded eyes, you mumbled incoherently before slouching over his back. Once you were comfortably adjusted, Goblin Slayer stood up and said his goodbyes to your fellow teammates and started for the door.

"Hehehehehe." Wow that drink really messed you up. "Is something funny?" asked Goblin Slayer. You buried your face in his neck. "Nah..just wondering of what I should say when I tell you that I love you!"

.........

"....I see...," was his reply. "You love me, right Slayer?" There was a brief moment of silence. "I am afraid I'd have to tell you when you're not drunk." You whined dramatically. "Aww come one, why can't you tell me nooow??" you asked. "Because if I did, you wouldn't remember tomorrow. You also wouldn't remember confessing a moment ago either."

You grumbled like a child before responding. "Yeah well, just so ya know, even if I don't remember that still doesn't change my feelings towards you!" You softly curled your arms around the man's neck and kissed the back of his helmet gingerly.

"I swear," you huffed, "every time I see you, my heart gets all funny. It's so annoying!" The burly male carrying you tightened his grip on your legs. "Does your heart beat weird when you see me, Slayer?"

It was quiet again. "..Yes, it does." You gasped in excitement and hugged him tight. "Yaaayyy! Goblin Slayer loves me~" you hollered in a sing-song voice.

The journey to your home wasn't as far as you'd hoped. "Do you need help getting inside?" he asked. You nodded. Goblin Slayer trailed up the steps, careful not to lose his footing. Once you were inside, he took you to your bedroom, however you weren't going to let him leave that easily.

He carefully sat you on your mattress as if you were a small child and began to take off your shoes for you. You watched him as he did so. "I'll stop by in the morning to see how you're feeling. Until then you shou—" Before Slayer could finish the rest of his sentence, you quickly grasped his wrist.

"Cou-could you stay a little longer?" you pleaded. He sighed before walking over to you. "I think that should be the last question for the night," he said as he took a seat beside you.

"I think I'm starting to sober up now!" Goblin Slayer stares at your reddened face  before replying, "Liar." You giggled at his remark and rested your head on his shoulder.

"I wanna kiss," you mumbled randomly. "That will have to wait." You groaned before completely facing him. "But I don't wanna wait. I wanna kiss you noww!" One of Goblin Slayer's major weaknesses was you're cute side, so this was going to be a challenge.

He tilted his face to the side before sliding his helmet off. He did this action very slowly, to make you even more anticipated.

Once you'd finally had enough of his games, you snatched the rest of his helmet off and attacked his lips.

You parted reluctantly to gain some air. "You taste bitter," he said breathlessly. "And your lips are chapped," you smirked. This time it was his turn to take your breath away.

Goblin Slayer shoved your back to the mattress and began to kiss you passionately. His kiss was rough, but it packed many emotions behind it.

You slowly snagged at his belt, giving him a hint at what you desired. He sat back and peeled his armor off his body and unbuckled his trousers.

Something told you that you were going to remember this night forever.

so yeah that just happened.