The Outsiders: Johnny's story

Chapter 5

I didn't get one wink of sleep on that train ride. My legs fell asleep because of the fact Pony was laying on them. I woke him up just before we were supposed to jump off. In the grass that we landed on, he finally woke up. Since my legs were asleep, I sprained my ankle while jumping off. I found a good walking stick and we went on the search for Jay Mountain.

After a few minutes, I sent Ponyboy off to ask a farmer we saw where it was at. He came back quickly and said it was just up over that hill. It was old and boarded up. On the inside there were a lot of cobwebs and dust everywhere. We walked there and laid our stuff down and dozed off a little. I woke up and realized that I probably should go get the food before the story got out. I left Pony a message in the dirt,

"Be back soon -JC"

I started on my long walk to the nearest store. As I walked down the dirt road, I felt alive for once in my life. My parents had beaten me to the point of being dead and now I felt alive. But walking alone when you are running from the law makes you paranoid. Every sound freaked me out. After 5 minutes of walking, I reached a one-horse store. I walked in and was shaking. I was trying to think of anything we may need for a week. I got one loaf of bread, a week supply of boloney, a jar of peanut butter, crackers, cigarettes, Pepsis, a deck of cards, a bar of soap, and candy bars. As I was about to check out, I noticed they had a paperback copy of Gone With the Wind. I knew that Ponyboy always wanted one and I figured we could kill time by reading it. As I grabbed the book, I remembered one vital thing.... Peroxide. I figured we could bleach Pony's hair as a disguise. I paid for everything and headed back. 

When I got back to the church, I did the greaser "who's there?" whistle. I heard Pony reply back and out of nowhere, he falls in front of my feet. 

"Fancy meeting you here." He said as he fell on the ground.

I told him he was acting more and more like Two-Bit. Good ole' Two-Bit....

I showed him what I bought and of course, he noticed the Peroxide and got scared. 

"Peroxide?!? You ain't thinkin bout..."

"We're gonna cut our hair Ponyboy, and you're gonna bleach yours. They have our descriptions in the paper and we can't fit em."

He then went on to ask why I couldn't bleach my hair. I cocked and eyebrow and told him that I would NOT look good as a blond because of my dark skin completion. We then fought for a few minutes and he finally gave me permission to start cutting his hair. After 10 minutes of cutting and 15 minutes of waiting for the peroxide to bleach his hair, we found a mirror and he saw what his hair would look like for a while. 

"Geez, this really makes me look tough." He said with sarcasm in his voice and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

I put the mirror down and handed him the knife. He cleaned it off and began to cut my hair. After it was cut, I used the bar of soap to wash the grease out of my hair. I then sat on the back porch and dried my hair. After it dried, we walked inside and Pony began to read Gone With the Wind. He even took the time to explain some of it to me. I may be 16, but I am only a sophomore in high school and Pony may be 14, but he is way smarter than me. He understands that sometimes I need things explained to understand them. My teachers just think I'm dumb and that is why I have failed. 

After a while, we just sat there next to the furnace, which was giving us the heat. I looked at Ponyboy and he was tearing up.

"I'm still tired." He said, his voice quivering.

"Look, I'm sorry I cut your hair off Ponyboy."

"Nah, it aint that, its just.... I don't know, I'm all mixed up." He threw the candy bar he was eating across the room. I could tell something was bugging him.

"Yeah, I know," I said trying to reassure him, "Things have been happening so fast."

I looked at Pony and put my arm around his shoulders to comfort him.

"You know that one-horse store this morning? I was thinking Two-Bit coulda walked out with half that thing. Good ole Two-Bit." 

My mind started to remember home. Not the home where I was beat up every time I turned around, the home with Two-Bit, Soda, Darry, Dally, and Steve. The home where Dally was always going to jail and Soda worked at the DX with Steve. That home was the one I was missing. Not the home with the drunken mother and the abusive dad. I never wanted to go back to that home. Ponyboy cut into my thoughts and only made me more upset.

"Remember how he was wize crackin last night? Just last night we were walking Cherry and Marcia home from the movies. Just last night we were laying in the lot looking up at the stars."

I felt my anger and frustration boil over. "Stop it man, will you just shut up about last night?! I killed a kid last night. He couldn't have been more than 17 or maybe 18 years old and I killed him. How would you like to live with that, huh?"

"Johnny...." Ponyboy was crying like I wish that I could.

"I didn't mean to..... they were drowning you......I didn't know what to do."

Ponyboy came beside me and sat down. I began to think about last night. The fear that forced me to kill Bob. The pain that the Soc's constant trouble caused me. The suicidal thoughts that kept me quiet and reserved to myself.

"There sure is a lot of blood inside of people." I said as I remembered the guilt that came along with watching Bob lay there, bleeding out. Gasping and finally dying right in front of me.

"What are we gonna do?"

I felt another rage coming and couldn't withhold it, "Aw. It's all my fault for bringing a 13 year old kid along. You might as well go home, Ponyboy. You can't get in any trouble, I mean you didn't go on and kill him!"

Pony was crying and screaming his frustration out as well, "NO! I'm 14, I've been 14 for a month and I'm in this just as much as you are..... I'll stop crying in a minute... I can't help it."

I felt so bad that I had just screamed at my best friend in the whole world. I was so tired and frustrated    that I had to do something.... Now he probably hates me like he hates Darry.....

I slowly walked over to Pony, putting an arm around him like I always see Soda doing, "Aww, i didn't mean it like that Ponyboy. Hey, don't cry. Don't cry man.... We're gonna be alright.... We'll be just fine...."