Letting Him Go [slow updates] (unedited)

Chapter 23

Ryder

"Ryder....HEY RYDER!" I heard someone call out. I turned around to see who called my name. 

"Hey man, are you alright?" Dan asked. Dan and Jake both had worried looks on their faces at they stared at me. I looked around and realized that I was still in the same spot, in the middle of the crowd, staring at the Reynolds Family and their special guests. I hadn't moved. Punching that guy who was with Jessica didn't happen. 

I looked back over at Jess and saw that she was now following her parents over to the stage with her arm looped around her dates. The other man and woman that arrived with them were following close behind. Occasionally I'll see Jess turn around and say something to the couple, smile, and laugh but I wasn't close enough to hear. 

I was feeling so overwhelmed seeing her for the first time in months. I didn't know why I had the sudden urge to murder that guy with her. I had no right. I was the one to hurt Jess, who was I to say who see started dating. But I couldn't help but to feel like it was too soon. Too soon to see her this happy. Was I a jackass for even thinking that? Of course I was, but that was exactly how I was thinking. These past two years I was the one who she had her arm around. Who she smiled at and was that physically close with. Seeing her with someone else just didn't seem right to me. I should be where that guy was. She loves me, not him. Well...she loved me. 

I knew Jess deserved to be happy and knew she deserved someone to love and care for her like I never did. After finding out that she took so much care for me, I knew that I wasn't worthy of someone like her. 

"Ry, are you alright? You've been standing there with a blank look on your face. Everyone is sitting down at their tables, come on." Jake said as he nudged me on the shoulder. I looked around again and saw that everyone really was at their tables and staring at me curiously. Everyone knew me as someone who was reckless, who didn't care what others thought about me, who was confident and arrogant, but handsome and intelligent. But at this very moment, I didn't feel like any of those and I couldn't stand that. I couldn't stand that I was feeling so miserable and worthless. 

I followed Dan and Jake back to our table and saw my mom and dad looking over at me confused. I glanced at Hannah who was seated by my mother, she had her head down but I could see a few tears falling from her eyes and onto her lap. I looked back to my mother who pointed her head towards another table, I turned to find Kyle and Stephanie making out with each other. I noticed that not only was everyone at their table looking at them with disgust, but nearly the entire room. 

Strangely I didn't feel angry or upset, they deserved each other. They led my sister and I on thinking that they loved us and then they tore it all down. The only think I was really angry and upset over was the fact that I was just like them. I acted so horribly towards Jessica who did nothing but love, care, and support me. She was always the one to join me on business events and dinners as the perfect wife but I didn't realize that. All I knew was that I hated her for ruining my chances with Stephanie and well, look how that turned out. 

All this time she could have outed me to my parents, to her parents, hell she could have told the world, but she didn't. She kept my infidelity all to herself, till the very end. I was the one who outed myself out. I was the one who stupidly thought that I was finally going to get my happy ending. 

I felt remorseful and ashamed. Ashamed to even show my face to Jessica and her family. I felt ashamed to show my face to anyone and everyone. I was the one who screwed up my marriage that could have been the best thing to ever happen to me. 

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My wife, Katherine, and I would like to thank each and every one of you for joining us all here tonight for such a wonderful cause. Tonight we will be selling a few art pieces that were generously given to us by an anonymous artist. We will also be auctioning off some wonderful prices. On the card in front of you all will be a list of a few items that we will be giving away. We would like to welcome Nancy Lane, the director of Sun Ray Orphanage, and Hank Carson, the director of Carson's Children Hospital. You both are doing such an amazing deed towards children in need and we thank you for all your work. You are working so hard to give these children a better future and it's people like you who we can never thank enough. Children are the future and it's important that they are loved for, cared for, and healthy. So again, thank you.