Pushed to Insanity

Eleven: Unexpected

I could feel him shaking slightly in my arms which were wrapped firmly around his torso. As crazy as it sounds I actually felt bad for saying the things I did to him.

I was lost in my own thoughts about my emotions when suddenly I heard him take a shaky breath in. I was surprised and started to loosen my grip as I listened closely to his shaky breaths and a few sniffles.

Is he crying?

I turned him around effortlessly, which also surprised me and looked up at his face. Tears were quickly streaming down his face and his bottom lip shook slightly. He wiped his eyes but It didn't help as tears continued to flow effortlessly down his face. Everyone had seen the joker laugh, but only now I had seen him cry.

"Oh my god J, I'm so sorry."

"I'm such a terrible person Autumn, I really am. Sometimes I wonder is I'm even human anymore."

He dropped to his knees and buried his face in my shirt, holding me tightly. I brushed my fingers through his hair, doing small shushing noises trying to make him stop.

"Shh J, it's okay. You're okay."

"I'm a monster."

"no, you aren't."

"Don't try to deny it, you know what you said is true."

"J stop."

I lifted his head slightly so he would look at me, using my thumbs to wipe the tears from under his eyes. I couldn't believe that he had just broken down in front of me, but that made me realize something.

I must be someone special if he can show this side of himself to me.

He slowly stood up, still shaking slightly as our roles switched, his large hands now on both of my cheeks. I flushed red as I watched him start to close the gap, stopping in the middle suddenly and opening his eyes as he looked at me. He stared at me for a moment and then started to back up again.

Then I did the unthinkable. Without thinking, I grabbed the back of his neck, standing on my tipie toes as I closed the gap between us, pressing our lips together. It didn't take long for him to ease into the kiss, our lips seemingly melting together. His arms wrapped around my waist as I kept my hand on the back of his neck, right below his hairline.

It seemed like hours had passed when we finally broke apart, but somehow I didn't want it to end. I slipped my hand away from his neck and flushed red, stepping away from his grip.

"Damn Dollface, didn't think you'd ever do that."

He grinned slightly and I looked away, my face felt like it was boiling as I felt one of his fingers swipe a piece of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

I can't believe I just did that! Why did I do that?!

I shook my head, I needed to get far away from here and forget this ever happened. I quickly ran, out of Jokers room, down the stairs, past Harley's room, and out the front door. I began running down the driveway when suddenly I felt someone grab me. I figured it was one of the joker's henchmen so I kicked and screamed.

"He said I can go! Let go of me this instant!"

"Oh Deary, You aren't going anywhere. I'm not letting you get away again."

I froze as I heard Jokers voice in my ear. Now because of what I had done, He'd never let me go, and I knew it. He suddenly pulled me off the ground and I shrieked as he threw me over his shoulder, his hand resting on my ass.

I just sighed and let my arms dangle, knowing there was no use in fighting. I hated this so much. I hated him. No, I'd be lying to myself if I said I hated him, I knew now that I had feelings for him, and I hated myself for it.