Harry Styles Imagines

•stop torturing ourselves•

http://anonymityispreferred.tumblr.com/post/65291438739/the-goose-bumps-start-to-raise

Credits to the owner! x

You sent your secret away and you could feel the relief as soon as it was gone. It had been a year since you'd broken up with Harry. He hadn't able to give the relationship the time it needed and you didn't want to burden him so you let him go. Neither of you had been happy about the separation, but agreed it was the right choice.

When you checked PostSecret that sunday, you saw your secret and smiled. You knew that it was out there and that thought gave you an insane sense of peace. You saved the image on your computer and then returned to your studies.

It would be the biggest lie to say that you didn't miss Harry. It still felt like a whole was in your heart and while the pain was manageable, you wanted nothing more than it to go away. If you distracted yourself with school or work, sometimes you'd forget about the way his soft curls felt in between your finger tips or the way his lips felt when they brushed against your neck. Sometimes you'd even go the rest of the night until you were reminded of him. But everytime you fell asleep, you only saw Harry. His laugh filled your dreams and his smile - the one were his dimples were out and his eyes were squinted - were all around you. Some nights you'd wake up and swear that his arms were still wrapped around you. You would stay absolutely still hoping this feeling would last longer than it had the last time. Some nights you'd reach for the phone and dial his number, but never actually make the call. You'd just look at the screen, and wish that it would make a difference.

Around your friends, you pretended that everything was normal and they continued on, unknowing you were broken in such a deep way. You figured that someday this feeling would go away and you would be able to move on and live a happy and normal life. You weren't mad at Harry or yourself. You just knew that this is how things had to be. This was the sacrifice that had to be mad in order for him to be happy and successful.

You felt like maybe someone out there knew what you were going through and by you sending the secret, now they knew someone else felt that way too. The connection to this imaginary person was enough to get you to call a friend and suggest a shopping day. It was the best you'd felt in a while. She was thrilled by your invitation. You spent the day distracting yourself with the superficiality of shopping and you actually had a good day. You didn't dwell too long on the adorable kid you'd seen walking down the street with the bright green eyes and too big for his face dimples and the twinge it gave you as you thought that's what Harry must've looked like as a kid.

You were excited when you got home. You were excited to wear the new purchases and the buzz you always seemed to get from new clothes. You walked down the street from the tube up to the door of your apartment complex. Someone was slumped over on your stairs. As he heard you approach he lifted his head and looked towards you. You thought briefly that you must be hallucinating now because to your surprise, Harry looked over at you and stood up. "Harry," You breathed.

"Was this you?" He asked, holding up a piece of paper with your secret printed on it. "Because it looks a lot like your handwriting." You took a deep inhale and nodded on the exhale.

"I do dream about you." He said looking down at the page. "Every fucking night." He looked up at you. You didn't know how to process the words and that was translating on your face. He took this as a cue for him to speak again. "So what now? We're both miserable apart."

And suddenly you knew how to make the pain in your chest go away. "Then we stop torturing ourselves and we try again." He looked up at you and you saw the smallest smile in the corner of his mouth and you felt a hundred knot untie in your stomache and for the first time in months, you smiled and it actually made it's way all the way to your eyes. And when his responding smile was just as bright as yours, you couldn't stop yourself from dropping your bags and crossing the short distance remaining between you and kissing him. His arms wrapped around your waist immediately and you felt like it had all been worth the wait.

"So we're doing this, you're mine again?" He said when you paused for air, with your foreheads still touching. You smiled and kissed him again.

"Finally." You responded. You didn't care that Harry was still just as busy or that it wasn't going to be easy. The knowledge that he had been just as miserable while you were apart was enough for you to know that you'd always find a way to stay together.