The Distance Between Us

Chapter 15: "Good"

Chapter 15: "Good"

I avoided any form of conversation with Axel for the rest of the weekend. In fact, I stared at his message on and off for a half hour on Saturday, struggling to respond. After my message of, "I finally did it," he responded with a simple: Did what? Obviously, in the moment, I meant that I let Sam down easy, but now that I think about it, I could also say that I finally kissed him, but then we'd have to talk about it. At first, I was excited to talk about it to see what the kiss meant for him but the more I think, the more I start to doubt any meaning behind the kiss. I mean, Axel is known for doing stupid things. In his eyes, it could just be seen as him doing me a favor and teaching me how to kiss someone. That's probably how he sees it. And the more I think, the sadder I get.

That kiss changed my entire attitude towards him. I got down to thinking a lot this weekend. I never really imagined me and Axel together in a relationship, but now I can't help it. Ever since he kissed me, I'm starting to get all hopeful and it's awkward. It's literally embarrassing me even though I'm doing it strictly in my head. What if, when I see him, I do something stupid, like accidentally grab his hand? Or worse, make a flirtatious comment in front of the guys? There's no way they'll let that slip and he'd probably tell me that I'm making things awkward. And normally, I'd be so excited to see Axel at school but now I'm just dreading it.

"Holden's going to be here in a few minutes," Dylan told me as I stared into my now lukewarm bowl of mushy cereal.

"I'll wait outside," I muttered. Because Dylan's going on a college tour with our dad today, he's not going to school. I, on the other hand, have to, so Holden has agreed to take me. Now that I think about it, I should've claimed car rights but it's too late now.

As I was grabbing my coat, the honking of a horn sounded from outside and I shoved my arms in the sleeves, yanking open the door. I left the house, waving at my brother as I went. I hopped down the steps, pulling open the passenger's side door. The heat greeted me, along with Holden's welcoming smile.

"Let's get going," Holden told me as he tapped on the steering wheel before driving off down the wet road.

As we drove towards the highway, I rummaged through my book bag in search of my Chemistry stuff. I swore when I realized that my items were in a pile beside my bed. No. "What's wrong?" Holden asked, glancing over with a concerned look on his face.

"I have Chemistry with Axel," I complained as I dropped my bag down onto the floor. Now I'll get in trouble for not having my notebook, textbook, and homework, and I'll have to share Axel's textbook.

"Yeah, I know, I saw," Holden nodded. "The twins thought you looked like a good kisser. Dylan was beating them with his shoes for saying it."

"No!" I retorted, shaking my head. "I have the class with him and I left all of my stuff at home."

"So? Just share with him," Holden rejoined before he slowly realized. "Oh...you're not talking to him, are you?"

"No, I'm not," I responded

"Because of the kiss?" he asked me.

"No, because of the weather," I retorted. "Yes because of the kiss."

"But I thought you liked him..." he responded.

"I do," I answered. "That's the thing."

"Okay, you lost me," Holden announced. "Start from the beginning."

"I like him, yes, but I've managed to keep my feelings to myself. And not even a month after telling him about my crush on him, he kisses me. He knew I was trying to get over him," I explained as slowly as I could.