If I slip up then I'ma die, but I won't be a victim.

Success doesn't equate happiness. I've had to learn that the hard way over the years. With every disappointment, every let down, every heartbreak, my solution was to just achieve something. Gain a new award, a higher accolade, a bigger position. The distractions only work temporarily, but once it dies down you realize that you're left with just you. You realize that you're still alone, still a failure in other aspects of life, and still hiding from the past. My name is Brynn. I got married at nineteen to my college sweetheart, and at the age of twenty four I found myself packing up and leaving him in the middle of the night. During that ungodly hour is when everything starts to hit you, when everything begins to resurface. My husband never attempted to come after me, never even attempted to reach out to me. Yet I still find myself going to sleep with him on my mind. I can still feel his touch if I dream hard enough. I still find myself keeping up with his social media, following his life from a distance. Only in that ungodly hour do I let my fantasies roam free and allow myself to miss him. I allow myself to still love him, still care for him. As long as I know that once morning hits it's back to business, back to being distracted, and back to being alone.

-"𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐬 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲, 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐄𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐀𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐎𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫... 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮". -𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐞💋