He Lived For Her~ A Joker Story

Chapter 57- Depression

-JOKERS POV-

I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly, bringing the gun to the side of my head.

I tightened my finger around the trigger, and braced myself.

My mind was foggy with overwhelming thoughts.
Some were telling me to do it, some were saying not to.

I didn't care, I had to end this.
I wanted to end this.

I slightly pressed down on the trigger, when suddenly the bedroom door opened.
I immediately aimed my gun at a gob smacked Frost.

When I realised who it was, I lowered the gun wearily.

"What?" I said plainly. He had messed up my concentration.

Frost looked so stunned. He couldn't fathom what he had just seen.
His boss ready to shoot his brains out.

"Um...uh" he stuttered

"Spit it out Frosty" I mumbled, throwing the gun on the floor, making it clatter.

He quickly straightened himself up, getting his words back.

"Ivy's alive, Boss"

I looked up almost immediately.
"She's...she's alive you say?"

Frost nodded with a half smile.
"Yes Boss, we managed to hack into the Hospitals network- she survived" he explained "she had surgery after she was brought in...a baby was removed from her while she was unconscious"

My slight happiness was brought back down.
I knew my child was dead...but hearing those words made it real.

"I want to see her" I muttered under my breath, standing up messily.

Frost ran to my side and steadied me.
"Have you been drinking, Boss?"

"I may of had a few, and I may have a few more" I growled. How dare he question me.

"Ivy wouldn't want you to do that" I heard him say.

I turned to him and clenched my jaw.
"Well, she isn't here...is she?"

Frost stayed silent. I hated his questioning.

"IVY? IVY?" I shouted out loud to prove my point.

No reply- the reality made my stomach churn though.

"See?...she's not fucking here" I hissed, sitting back down on the bed hopelessly.

"Okay" Frost sighed "what about...the plan?"

"Postponed" I replied simply.

"But-"

"POSTPONED!"

"okay...okay Mr J"

"Now why don't you do me a favour and get the fuck outta' here?" I hissed, pointing to the door.

Frost just sighed, then exited the room without a word.

I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel anything.

The thought of Ivy trapped in that place infuriated me. I wanted to rescue her, but she still needed to recover.
My decisions were conflicting.