Saitama's Wave Cap

Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet? Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest. The road to success is 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 under construction  I'm jealous of my parents, I'll never have a kid as cool as them. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. I am your 𝘽𝙁𝙁, your 𝘽𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝙁𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝙁𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry... Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? A bank  is a place that will lend you 💰 if you can prove that you don't need it. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth 🦷 Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening. I'm not lazy, I am on energy saving mode  If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
@Premiumsleepy