vickyluvsmusic

⚠ TRIGGER WARNING⚠
          	My school counsellor called me into her office because she was worried about be cause I didn't want to eat. She said our conversation would be private and I was feeling extremely vulnerable at the moment so I told her about my anxiety and depression and self harm and stress. What I did was very stupid and illogical (which is unlike me) from a long term point of view because she ended up calling my mum and dad because she was "legally obligated to" and I got in trouble for it. My parents yelled at me and called me violent and said I could get us deported and also yelled at me for almost killing myself sometimes. They told my relatives about it and they were also angry at me. I'm the only person in my family that is introverted and likes being alone and they were all saying I should try and be more outgoing and make friends because I was the problem. My mum told me I wouldn't make friends because of my weight and that I was ugly amd said I should work on myself. I wanted to be better for myself and start eating again but yesterday my dad and I fought and he made me feel bad about eating so I'm not doing that anymore. My patents expect me to feel better because they yelled at me about it, emotionally invalidated me, made me cry (which I don't like doing) and disregarded my need for privacy so yeah. The counsellor asked me how I was doing again yesterday and I lied to her and said I feel better. Suicide has never looked better lmao

itskayluv

@vickyluvsmusic Bby, pls no suicide. Dont forget that I love you. You can still hum. I'm not around as much but imma work on that.
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Gymasticsgirl12

@vickyluvsmusic thats fine, hope is always a fragile line. I’m always here if you need anything! :))
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vickyluvsmusic

@Gymasticsgirl12 thanks Gym, and yeah it hurts but it's fine Also I'm sorry you also go through that :(
          	  Also, when this thing started i DID pray. A lot actually. But I'm really losing hope in like "God" and everything and it's mainly because everyone just tells me to "pray my sadness away" also because I'm part ofthe LGBT+ community and people everywhere say it's a sin and also because I'm really into suicide and self harm and people say that's also a sin so I'm not really sure of what I believe anymore. I'm no doubt gonna be called lukewarm but it's whatever. I don't care. 
          	  Anyway, thanks for being jere for me :)
Reply

vickyluvsmusic

⚠ TRIGGER WARNING⚠
          My school counsellor called me into her office because she was worried about be cause I didn't want to eat. She said our conversation would be private and I was feeling extremely vulnerable at the moment so I told her about my anxiety and depression and self harm and stress. What I did was very stupid and illogical (which is unlike me) from a long term point of view because she ended up calling my mum and dad because she was "legally obligated to" and I got in trouble for it. My parents yelled at me and called me violent and said I could get us deported and also yelled at me for almost killing myself sometimes. They told my relatives about it and they were also angry at me. I'm the only person in my family that is introverted and likes being alone and they were all saying I should try and be more outgoing and make friends because I was the problem. My mum told me I wouldn't make friends because of my weight and that I was ugly amd said I should work on myself. I wanted to be better for myself and start eating again but yesterday my dad and I fought and he made me feel bad about eating so I'm not doing that anymore. My patents expect me to feel better because they yelled at me about it, emotionally invalidated me, made me cry (which I don't like doing) and disregarded my need for privacy so yeah. The counsellor asked me how I was doing again yesterday and I lied to her and said I feel better. Suicide has never looked better lmao

itskayluv

@vickyluvsmusic Bby, pls no suicide. Dont forget that I love you. You can still hum. I'm not around as much but imma work on that.
Reply

Gymasticsgirl12

@vickyluvsmusic thats fine, hope is always a fragile line. I’m always here if you need anything! :))
Reply

vickyluvsmusic

@Gymasticsgirl12 thanks Gym, and yeah it hurts but it's fine Also I'm sorry you also go through that :(
            Also, when this thing started i DID pray. A lot actually. But I'm really losing hope in like "God" and everything and it's mainly because everyone just tells me to "pray my sadness away" also because I'm part ofthe LGBT+ community and people everywhere say it's a sin and also because I'm really into suicide and self harm and people say that's also a sin so I'm not really sure of what I believe anymore. I'm no doubt gonna be called lukewarm but it's whatever. I don't care. 
            Anyway, thanks for being jere for me :)
Reply

vickyluvsmusic

If you had told me yesterday that I'd ship a Chad version of JFK with a goth version of Joan of Arc yesterday, I would have never believed you. 

vickyluvsmusic

@Bucket_With_A_Gun  @The_OwO_Artist LAST YEAR ABE SAID HE WAS 15 YEARS OLD. NOW HE SAYS HE'S 16. WHICH ONE IS IT ABE??
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Bucket_With_A_Gun

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!
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The_OwO_Artist

@vickyluvsmusic Omg yesss- I love clone high-
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vickyluvsmusic

I find it kind of funny how I idolized my parents when I was younger (I literally said they were my role models in the fourth grade) and now I kind of hate them and realize that they are emotionally abusive and so toxic and they are the cause of most if not all of my insecurities and toxic traits.
          

Sike-Its-Madx

@vickyluvsmusic lmao I never idolized my parents
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wouldUbesokind

@vickyluvsmusic oh hey same!!!!! :D
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vickyluvsmusic

⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠ (depression and suicide)
          I've always wondered how when people on the internet say things like, "don't kill yourself I love you" or "don't self harm I love you and I'm proud of you, I care. I'd miss you" the viewers get all emotional and feel better. I'm always like "you don't even know I exist and if I killed myself you'd just think I'm offline lmao". It's not like they'd know lol. 

junipertriesagain

@vickyluvsmusic // i mean yeah but you just kinda make life better. if you were to disappear off the face of the earth i’d be worried. anyway take this quote "We're just suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids suicide isn't the answer."
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Shul_Zik

@ Gymasticsgirl12  Yup. Agree
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Shul_Zik

@ vickyluvsmusic  Ok. Cool. It nice to know that:)
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