Luna Love

CHRIS 17 YOU BE MISSED GREATLY REST IN PIECE MY FRIEND I LOVE YOU
Is it possible to sleep away all of the problems, i know these thoughts i have need to stay in my head but the further back i push them back the stronger they scream, maybe its just all in my head, maybe i just need to sleep. My mind tried to die, my body wouldn't let it. my body needs sleep but my mind wont let it win that battle. im stuck in this constant war but there is a light, that light is you, you who keep me sane, you who make me smile, and you who have made me feel alright for a while, thank you.i know self love is what i need to have but i dont know how all i know is self hate, but you who love me, im sorry that i push you away, i love you, there are just days where the war is to much and i cant move so i push away help. I need to smile like i used to, before all of this pain, before all of these meds before the world caved in before the end of my life as I knew it, before that river trip that a life dripped away on before a broken son, before a broken granddaughter, before a box, before a stone, before miss placed dirt in the same whole, before an early morning good bye, it's been two years since that smile I last had, two years and the hurt still has me stuck in that moment, when you left i left, i knew who i was, know im no one, when you left you took me, you took the smell of lawnmower gas, fish, wood, and the smell of home with you, you took a place i knew as home with you, why did you leave? Why you and not me? You were my home, you were my only home but now your gone, I can't bring you back, so i live in the past, i tried to move but i cant, i'm glued to you, i am afraid to go to your final bed, I'm afraid of letting go, I need to smile again like i did back then.
Some one stop my heart from shattering its splintering apart its damaging others.
If you read my poems,I'm sorry ,I'm going to take a break for a little while so I wont update for a wile after Left,again I'm so sorry<3y'all