dee🎧

@lovcbae I DEACTIVED

@sxndcigs OFC I DO why did you changr accs

@lovcbae if you want

@__cristina_19__ jswkjdkwbd should i text you

@lovcbae slay

@itzukome i quite do not im sorry :(

i wish i could think and think until i can't think anymore and write and write until i don't feel my feelings anymore i wish i was happy i wish i was happy i so wish i was happy without feeling guilty without craving being sad, because what if maybe and just maybe i am better and i am not unstable anymore? then what if i was just faking it? what if everyone leaves me? what if there's no reason to stay by my side anymore? what if maybe i am getting better and while i was low nobody noticed me so ill forever regret not speaking up? what if i am happy for too long and forget the person that was fighting just to stay alive? what if i become someone that i don't recognize anymore and be happy, could i ever be happy?
            i want to be happy i want to feel okay i know i said i want to think but i don't, i don't want to have the ability to think anymore i just want to be happy without having a thought in my head, just be happy and love myself, just feel satisfied with myself, just feel like i am enough for myself without feeling like i left myself behind, without feeling like i am ashamed. i just wish i could just move on without feeling guilty.im scared of becoming like my dad. im so scared yet i am just like him exactly like him. i get mad, i yell, i try to manipulate, i try to make people scared of me. im scared of becoming my dad because if i do that means i failed everything in my life. every single thing. if i become like my dad, ill have to leave forever with his memory haunting me. I'd have to live forever with him by my side. there's no day in which someone doesn't cry in this house, because of him. im not sure what goes on his mind. but am i allowed to feel okay when my brother is hurting? am i allowed to feel alright when he does all these fucked up things and call them education. i don't know what to do with myself. 

im scared that if i get better, people will forget about me. i will be left behind. it's inevitable. im scared of becoming like my dad. im so scared yet i am just like him exactly like him. i get mad, i yell, i try to manipulate, i try to make people scared of me. im scared of becoming my dad because if i do that means i failed everything in my life. every single thing. if i become like my dad, ill have to leave forever with his memory haunting me. I'd have to live forever with him by my side. there's no day in which someone doesn't cry in this house, because of him. im not sure what goes on his mind. but am i allowed to feel okay when my brother is hurting? am i allowed to feel alright when he does all these fucked up things and call them education. i don't know what to do with myself. i just wish i wouldn't feel so empty, i just wish i would like myself more, but even that falls under my fault. what do i do with myself? i wish time could stay still. 

@lovcbae YES

OKAY WAIT

@lovcbae IM COMINGGGG

@lovcbae i don't do side chicks babe

hru doing tho ? 

that's fine , it's been a long time anw 

it's me ry if you still remember 

@-sparklyjimin- I JSIT REINSTALLED WATTPAD HOLY SHIT HELLOOO