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@omnsent 
            / placing a harassment charge on you

/ the only fans you have are ones that blow air 

[ @empaeth ]
            
            for the first time in Jeanettes life, she begs to be wrong.  WISHES for it like the last candle on the cake, HOPES for it like the falling star from the sky will allow her one more DECENCY. Luck was never a FRIEND TO HER, AND SHE KNEW THAT—EVERYONE DID. IF THIS WAS HER FORTUNE, IF ALL OF THIS SUFFERING  WAS HER FAVOR THEN PERHAPS SHES WAS DESTINED FOR HELL. 
            
            JEANETTE STILLS IN THE SPACE, STIFFENING AS the color drains from worn down cheeks. She feels as if she might faint, might tear the paper from the walls—MIGHT SET THIS HOUSE ABLAZE AND SALT THE EARTH WITH HER TEARS WHEN ALL IS LEFT IS ASH AND EMBER. she feels the sorrow slide down her spine in an imaginary bead of cold sweat—HER PORES WEEPED FOR HER ALREADY AND SOON SHE WOULD JOIN THEM. 
            
            ❝ you…❞  voice dissipates into the turmoil of her screaming mind. This must be heartbreak , the betrayal that stokes a fire burning for a lifetimes worth of anger. BUT NO FIRE RIPS THROUGH HER CHEST—NOT ANYMORE. INSTEAD, a cold emptiness takes its place. A HOLLOW HYPOTHERMIC VOID THAT WAS SLOWLY SWALLOWING EVER VEIN AND VESSEL, ORGAN AND BONE IN HER BODY. ❝ you knew.  ❞  HANDS JERK BACK , and the face that was darkened by loss REVERTS BACK TO THE INNOCENCE STOLE.  A LOOK THAT SCREAMS IN THE GRIEF OF A CHILD. ( YOU COULD HAVE PROTECTED ME! WHY DIDNT YOU PROTECT ME? ) 
            
            ❝ you KNEW and . .❞ disbelief bites through clenched teeth, through a trembled jaw and a RAZOR BLADE TONGUE NOW DULL. SHE TAKES A STEP BACK AS IF TO CALCULATE HER THOUGHTS. ❝ and you LET ME go THROUGH HELL. FOR WHAT? ❞ she despises the tears threatening her eyes now, despises the way her hands shake, HOW HER CHEST TIGHTENS AND CONTRACTS—HOW IT MIGHT EXPLODE. 

❝ AN END. ❞ it leaves the mouth ominous and heavy, hanging thick in the air. ❝ AN END OF ALL THINGS… OF EVERYTHING AN’ EVERYBODY IN WAYS I…❞ she shakily exhales upon glancing at the slight of her again and her bottom lip trembles before parting to continue. ❝ IN WAYS I COULDN’T SAY… NOT AT THE TIME. ❞ her eyes droop as she looks down at the table, down at the maroon cloth that covers its wooden surface, focusing in on the small interwoven threads. each individual thread ties into another and another until they all meet to complete a much larger piece. it takes time to be made, if only she could make her understand how this was the same, unable to be seen until it is fully complete. the image drifts away as she slowly returns to the other. this blessing does come with a curse of its own— to try to verbalize what simply could not be explained with words.
            
            ❝ ONCE YOU WALKED OUT THAT DOOR, NOTHIN’ WOULD EVA BE THE SAME AGAIN. I COULDN’T STOP NOTHIN’ FROM BEING CHASED, INTO THE DARK…❞ her hands moves towards the others in an attempt to get her attention. ❝ BUT, SOMETIMES… SOMETHIN’ HAS TO GET A LITTLE LOST IN ORDER TO BE FOUND. YOU SEE? ❞ her tone lightens, trying desperately to hold on to her both physically and emotionally. after this there is no guarantee she will stay, and so she will spend this time trying to make her stay (please don’t leave me). she places them on top of the others and feels a wave of nausea. a wave of grief that fills her from head to toe, becoming hard to breathe. her head bows and she shakes her head.  
            
            ❝ OH… I’M SORRY JEAN… I’M SO SORRY. ❞

WHOEVER SAID THAT TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS MUST’VE NOT BEEN CUT AS DEEPLY AS WE HAVE. DEEPER THAN A BLADE CAN REACH, DEEPER THAN THE SKIN DRAPED OVER OUR BONES. THIS PAIN IS ONE THAT SPLITS OUR SOULS. it’s a hard lesson to learn, that time is unable to mourn the wounded. it moves on with its head held high as we’re left in the dust, left to catch up to it or try our best to keep it from catching us in the end. strangely, as we sit here in the presence of ourselves it seems to go against its own nature, taking time to turn around and revisit us and now look where we are, in the same position as we were the very first time. here you are again, sitting at the same old table with the same old lady. BUT WE ARE BOTH OLDER THAN WE LAST WERE, MY DEAR. WE ARE BOTH OLDER AND TOO WISE FOR OUR OWN GOOD. TOO TIRED… OH SO VERY TIRED. 
            
            SHE KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME, BUT NOTHING COULD PREPARE HER FOR THIS MOMENT OF SORROW. NOTHING COULD PREPARE HER THOSE EYES AND AND THE WAY THEY LOOK AT HER, SO SAD AND FULL OF WOE. her own must look the same as she stares back, remembering a time when there was a softness to her jaw and a youthful spark in her eyes that illuminated the room. now an ember turned to ash by an extinguishment dealt by the cruel hand of fate. 
            
            her silence remains as her eyes move to scan her, look into her. there is still a girl buried beneath the dust, longing for a truth that will leave the both of them aching. she feels it now, this ache, and it is different from the one that has settled into these brittle bones. there are no signs of an attempt to answer nor any signs of movement until she slides herself closer in towards the table, putting weight on the leg that has only gotten worse with time. the only sound that comes from this is a quiet whimper, then a shaky breath. her hands place themselves on the table, against the crocheted cloth. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO TELL BUT THE TRUTH. SHE ALREADY KNOWS. 
            

@doIIparts / what happened??

@empaeth / shut the fuck up I am not well

[II] ANGER BUBBLES BEHIND DARK EYES, ECHOING FROM AN UNREACHABLE SOURCE, BUT THAT ECHO TUNRS INTO A SCREAM THE SECOND SHE TURNS TO FINALLY FACE HER OPPONENT. IRISES CATCH FLAME, HOT ENOUGH TO MELT THE PAPER OFF THE WALLS. It wasn’t fair, the lot of it. How quickly she seems to be DISCARDED BECAUSE SHE PRESENTS AS THE ODD ONE OUT. THE OPPOSE, THE EYESORE.   Sharp inhale, and a rush of thoughts was enough to release the TEETH FROM HER TONGUE. ❝ Actually, you know what? Fuck it. ❞  TWITCH OF BROW, THE BAG WAS TOSSED TO THE FLOOR. ❝ I’m so SICK of you walking around acting like you’re some LEADER when all you do is TRY TO DICTATE MY EVER MOVE. ❞  
            
            ITS EVIDENT THE WHEELS BEGAN TO TURN, RELEASING THE FLOOD GATES ALL WITH A SIMPLE SHAKE OF HER HEAD. ❝ and another thing REAGAN. SOME OF US JUST WANT TO LIVE OUR FUCKING LIVES. ❞ VOICE GROWS LOUDER WITH EACH WORD, THE WAY A DOG GROWLS LOUDER AS ITS DISTASTE GROWS CLOSER. ❝ I /made/ it out. I /GOT/ OUT. AND ILL BE DAMNED IF YOU DRAG ME BACK BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE SOME FUCKING SAVIOR! ❞ EYES BULGE FROM THEIR SOCKETS, A HAUNTINGLY FAMILIAR LOOK IT SEEMS, AND PERHAPS SHE KNOWS IT TOO. The proximity dilutes as FINLEY PICKS UP THE DISCARDED BAG, ❝ SO IF YOU DON’T MIND, IM GOING HOME. ❞

[I] [@omnsent ]
            
            A SLAMMING DOOR IS NO STRANGER, IT PRESENTS AS THE SIXTH MEMBER, THE ACCOMPANYING FRIEND TO OUR LOST DETECTIVE. THE FUSE HAD BEEN SLOW BURNING FOR DAYS, UNKNOWINGLY LIT AND THE SMOKE COULD’VE BEEN SPOTTED  IMMEDIATELY. A CLENCHED FIST WITH HAIR, THAT JEAN, AN INEVITABLE TICKING TIME BOMB WAITING TO EXPLODE ON THE LAST POSSIBLE THING SHE HAD LEFT. 
            
            ❝ I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be apart of this fucking GROUP.  ❞  BACK TURNED TO THE DOOR PURPOSEFULLY, SHE MADE A QUICK WORK OF PICKING UP ALL OF HER THINGS SHE HAD SCATTERED AND SHOVING THEM INTO A BAG. ❝ Im done saying SHIT. You make it very clear that my opinion IN ANY OF THIS DOESN’T MATTER. So I’m DONE. ❞   zipper slide against teeth AGGRESSIVELY followed by another, and another and another. SHE WAS LEAVING. 

[II]A small sniffle breaks through her silence, but no tears slide down the cheeks now hers again. ❝  I can’t go home, I can’t sleep, I can’t look in the mirror—Im SCARED ALL OF THE TIME, every second I’m paranoid they’ll take me back, THAT THEY’RE COMING AND IM JUST WAITING FOR THAT DAY TO FINALLY COME.  ❞ hands dug at the fabric of her jeans, palming over her knees to feel something real, to make sure she was still real.  ❝ and look I get it. I GET that she wants to be a hero and she wants to fight, ❞  THERE IT WAS, THAT ANGER, THAT AGGRESSION THAT IS SO KIN TO HER, SLOWLY COMING BACK TO LIFE THROUGH GRITTED TEETH. 
            
            ❝ BUT. I. CAN’T. ❞  FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE HE JOINED HER ON THE STEPS, JEANETTE FINALLY BRINGS HER RED EYES TO HIM, AND IT TAKES EVERYTHING IN HER NOT TO LOOK AWAY IN SHAME. Hurt is in plain view now, the same way it always has been, the way she’s ignored it to be. ❝ I won’t. And if THAT makes me selfish then SO BE IT.  ❞  DEFEAT is a vicious thing to feel when all you’ve done your whole life was fight. 

[ @tricksmind ]
            [I]THE CRICKETS AND CICADAS SING, FILLING HER RAGED SILENCE, SUMMER HEAT STICKING TO HER SKIN IN REMORSEFUL REGRET. THE HEAT MAKES YOU THINK, MAKES YOU COUNT THE FIREFLIES IN THE SKY UNTIL MAYBE YOU REALIZE THERE ISN’T MORE THAN ONE, YOU JUST WANT IT TO BE MORE. BUT SHES BEEN ON ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT DELUSION FEELS LIKE—HOW REAL IT LOOKS, how only one person can be so much before they’re forced to be more. . . . LEAVING ENGULFED BY HER OWN FLAME PROVED TO BE HARDER THAN SHE THOUGHT. Burning the bridge was easy, but the steps out the door proved almost impossible.  WHERE WOULD SHE GO? WHO WOULD BELIEVE HER? 
            
            ❝ They don’t get it. ❞  A HEAD SHAKE, TOE DIGGING IN TO THE DIRT SHE RIPPED FROM THE EARTH IN HER ATTEMPT TO CALM DOWN.  ❝ Being here, for me, is like….. it feels like I’m reliving it. Everyday, over and over and she won’t let me LEAVE.❞ aggressive was no stranger in her voice, and yet, it lacked completely. Replaced by the DREAD he must be speaking about, it burned and it stung, eating at her throat—at her hands. ❝ If I keep myself HERE, if I keep following WHATEVER THIS is . . ❞  Childs tilted to the sky, A SACRED CONFESSION MADE UP TO THE STARS, TO THE EARS THAT LISTEN, and to the eyes she refuses to meet. JEANETTE never believed in a god, never prayed, but now, if there was, she thought him vengeful—thought him cruel.   Just what did SHE do to deserve this? 

@execkill / shh don’t bother me I’m having enrichment time in my enclosure 

@omnsent / we cannot escape we cannot get out

/    stfu im JUSTIFIED.

@liberkal 
            / BE SO FR

[@masksworn]
            [ SIMPLICITY IS FALSE GUISE, AN EASY ROUTE TO DISRUPTION AND BROKEN PATHS. AN STRAIGHTFORWARD TASK PROVES TO BE UNMANAGEABLE IN A BLINK OF AN EYE. THE CREASE IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER.  SO SIMPLE, YET AN EYESORE, IS JUST ENOUGH TO UNRAVEL THE DELICATE THREAD THATS HOLDING HER TOGETHER. . . . . ITS DESRIÉE’S TURN TO CRY. ] 
            
            Wide eyes sink into their sockets, enlarged pupils filling to their brim with seconding-guessing. The PRIDE in her work dissipates into the air, her certainty lost into the vents with reality AND DUST. ❝ I think so. .  ❞ she goes over the words, combing through them for any mistake, any chip AND SHE FINDS NOTHING. DOLL BROWS DIP IN CONFUSION AND INSECURITY. ITS ENOUGH TO MAKE THE PORCELAIN CRACK.  
            
            ❝ . . . i thought I followed your directions. I did it the same as last time. .  ❞  THE DOLL BEGINS TO SHRINK TO THE FLOOR, SLIPPING DOWN HER HAND CRAFTED RABBIT HOLE. EVERYTHING FEELS IMPOSSIBLY LARGE NOW, OR PERHAPS ITS THE OVERWHELMING PRESENCE OF FEAR CREEPING INTRAVENOUSLY.