CraziestPersonAlive

I hope you find someone who enjoys the calm and comfort with you, not the thrill

I thought things would be different this time.. 

I hope your actions broke me as little as you thought before breaking me. 

I've realised I really need to make my brain a space for me to be relaxed in. A happy organised comfortable space. Making these small changes like journaling and meditation give me hopes that they'll help some day in the long run. 
          
          Med school really changes you as a person. Exam season here is scary. I become this sleep deprived, coffee driven stone faced person with the inability to smile. The stress and anxiety really takes over my whole body. After the second internals I vowed to never let that happen again. Prelims did give me better clarity and helped me think things through more clearly without the pressure of the exam results ticking at the back of my mind. 
          
          I think I came into this college with a bad mindset. Neet was traumatic too. Imposter syndrome all the time. Made me want to give up. I didn't study much in the start. I am now facing the consequences for that though. 
          
          I hope not to let my past failures determine my future success and instead use it as a stepping stone. 
          
          I shall continue working on myself. Meditation, journaling, better study techniques like active recall, visualisation, explaining concepts, revising regularly and mainly not getting stressed out and intimidated by everything around me. 
          
          I am going to take things only positively. 

It's day 2 of the year 2023 and it feels like I am still carrying the same burden and trauma of 2020. I really hope to make changes in my study techniques as a med student. Be more efficient and proactive. I gave up when online classes started because even giving my best and trying to be on top of studies got me nowhere. 
          
          This year I'm going to give myself another chance and promise myself to be that girl from school days who used to sleep in class because she knew what the teacher was talking about. Now when I sleep it's because I don't understand a word of what the teacher says. 
          
          But yeah no. I am going to stay proactive and on top of things 24/7. Take care of my health. Keep Instagram deactivated for most part and be mindful. 
          
          Meditation has brought some small changes which might even go unnoticed but I shall continue to do so. 
          
          Welp today was a tiring day. Pushing Myself As much as I can. I am capable of getting the top rank and I will get it soon. 

Hey, I'm writing this new book and it would mean a lot to me if you could check it out and give some feedback. 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/316268615?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=collins295&wp_originator=lSTq05F2OmwkKLcF2ZWvDY6%2FfMCkT%2FzwYl4GGppcZsEsOwEsSq%2FZ3D6LXpewvA0OY88KrDIAVww35rxItDWj6W1Z3wZImED27J6FAEEtBJT3brfMmvgEg9ckq7b%2BvPTg
          
          If you don't want to that's totally fine. Regardless, have a wonderful day! ❤

Smiles on my face, larger than the sun. The only person who can make me smile amidst a storm in my life. 

One day you'll move on and talk about me as just another girl you had a crush on and I'll just be someone from your past. 

You make me feel like the muse of an artist's love song. 

Dedicated to the sweetest guy I know. He literally took the 11 chapters that are published on Wattpad and made an actual physical copy of my dear book Chasing Paris. Grateful to know and have such people in my life.