Raventsunami

I can’t love myself. I can’t do anything. I’m useless. I literally am. Everyone’s flourishing around me. And then there is me. I should be doing better now. But instead I’m only getting worse. 

AssassinElf15

@Raventsunami  Hey there. I know I went MIA for a while, but I opened my notifications today and saw this. I wanted you to know that I love you and that you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now. You're absolutely perfect the way you are, and you're amazing for pushing through. 
          	  You can do so much! You're a phenomenal writer and artist, and you're such a wonderful person. You were one of my very first friends here, and I've forever been grateful for the smiles you gave me. Your personality is the best, and you're just amazing. 
          	  Don't worry about whether you're unathletic or not, you don't have to push yourself so hard. Please don't beat yourself up about it, it hurts my heart to see this post because I think you're wonderful. 
          	  You're not useless. Please believe me. You've already done so much that I can only hope to do, and I love checking your art book every so often to see what you've posted. Like I said, you have a beautiful personality and I'm positive that you're just as beautiful of a human being. 
          	  I'm so sorry that you've been feeling so badly and I wish I could do more than just write this post, but again, just please know that I'll always love and appreciate you, and you're never useless. You're perfect how you are, and you are doing the best you can, which is all any of us can do. Motivation will come in its own time :) 
          	  Please stay safe <3 <3 
          	  ~Maya
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Raventsunami

this message may be offensive
I think one of my biggest insecurities is that I’m inathletic. So much so that I’m fucking skinny fat. It’s basically when your fat percentage is considered obesity but you’re a normal weight or even below. That’s fucking me. I wear baggy clothing bc I won’t to hide my stomach that looks like a baby bump. It’s not even a joke. I want to do something but idk what. I suck at working out and it’s just SO HARD. I can barely do a single knee-push-up too. ):
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Joonie_writes

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Raventsunami

I can’t love myself. I can’t do anything. I’m useless. I literally am. Everyone’s flourishing around me. And then there is me. I should be doing better now. But instead I’m only getting worse. 

AssassinElf15

@Raventsunami  Hey there. I know I went MIA for a while, but I opened my notifications today and saw this. I wanted you to know that I love you and that you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now. You're absolutely perfect the way you are, and you're amazing for pushing through. 
            You can do so much! You're a phenomenal writer and artist, and you're such a wonderful person. You were one of my very first friends here, and I've forever been grateful for the smiles you gave me. Your personality is the best, and you're just amazing. 
            Don't worry about whether you're unathletic or not, you don't have to push yourself so hard. Please don't beat yourself up about it, it hurts my heart to see this post because I think you're wonderful. 
            You're not useless. Please believe me. You've already done so much that I can only hope to do, and I love checking your art book every so often to see what you've posted. Like I said, you have a beautiful personality and I'm positive that you're just as beautiful of a human being. 
            I'm so sorry that you've been feeling so badly and I wish I could do more than just write this post, but again, just please know that I'll always love and appreciate you, and you're never useless. You're perfect how you are, and you are doing the best you can, which is all any of us can do. Motivation will come in its own time :) 
            Please stay safe <3 <3 
            ~Maya
Reply

Raventsunami

this message may be offensive
I think one of my biggest insecurities is that I’m inathletic. So much so that I’m fucking skinny fat. It’s basically when your fat percentage is considered obesity but you’re a normal weight or even below. That’s fucking me. I wear baggy clothing bc I won’t to hide my stomach that looks like a baby bump. It’s not even a joke. I want to do something but idk what. I suck at working out and it’s just SO HARD. I can barely do a single knee-push-up too. ):
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lustamoure

outta pocket D:

Raventsunami

@lustamoure how have things been?
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Raventsunami

@lustamoure lol i actually do remember ya! (:
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lustamoure

kidding im broke you get a high five
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Raventsunami

I don't know if I should ditch Robotics for Biomed but then I only get 3 years of credit and that sucks. Also, dance sounds so cool yet i'm really bad at it and am very inathletic. i suck at performing what i learn ): and then there is piano- like i want to learn that alongside guitar but agh idk. oh and of course video production, AGH i love and hate the elective choices i have :,) hope i figure this stuff out soon lol

Raventsunami

@Chiisecake damnnnn u make a pretty good point.... I never thought about it that way actually (: you’re right, a LOT of it would have to be self study but it’s actually for a grade so yeahhhh no
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Chiisecake

@Raventsunami ooh i can tell you that you shouldnt take piano, its not worth your time. youll end up in a class where everyone is playing at the same time as you are, so the teacher can't actually focus on helping you improve as an individual. and then more advanced piano levels is free time for you to practice whatever pieces you like. ive heard this from choir teachers in middle and high school, you might as well try learning on your own, or better with a private tutor. 
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Raventsunami

@TTulippp that’s cool (: I wish I was good at it lol but I never improve 
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Raventsunami

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It’s been half a semester of dance 1 and I still can’t do a fucking pirouette and I am still weak. I feel so left behind. I don’t have the motivation to practice too. I don’t have people who can motivate me. Im not in person so I’m just slacking lol. But also if it was in person I’m sure I’d be a laughing stock. I literally hate myself.

Raventsunami

@piker100 thanks a lot bud (: that's really sweet. i know that's true but it's hard to swallow because i'm perfectionistic. i'm just tired of not being good at things but i also don't put the effort into it because of that and it's a mess lol. but thanks (:
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Raventsunami

@drexmpjm it is. maybe if i was stronger and didn't have a messed up body i could be better. idk what's for me and not. i would think that if i was happier i would be performing much better but that's not realistic. i'm just tired of failing at everything i do i guess because i'm not really outstanding at anything, let alone something that matters. and also, that's true. labels are there for comfort but they're also just labels and should be taken as such. if i'm to be honest, i think i can find a label (or several) i'll fall in under but i'll fluctuate within it often. i know it shouldn't be my first priority too but it's the fact that i'm afraid of being alone but also i realize that there's no point in making friends if i just leech onto them. it's not good for either person. i don't know what's best for me is all i guess. just indecisive me over here :.)
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Raventsunami

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I have no idea whether the SMP is ending or not. I really hope it’s not because I’m somewhat attached to it, even after promising myself I wouldn’t do that to anything again. Haha fuck. But hey, Ghost Wilbur talking to Tommy and Tubbo on the bench as they play then disc? Literally the happiness I’ve needed in my life. It’s like the old times, fucked up and with people lost, but it’s bittersweet. And Wilbur’s still so funny and he’s somewhat backkkkk hell yeah! (: I do wonder though, if there is a season 3, will it include the dead? After all, Dream has said that he knows how to resurrect Wilbur and that he was planning on doing so for Schlatt... the fact that Dream also has 1 life left leaves so much room for plot that I really hope that it’s filled.

Raventsunami

IKR DUDEEEE TFFFFDDFD LMAO but I don’t think it is. I think they’ve kinda confirmed a season 3 or at least I’m seeing everyone talk about the next season so yeah
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Raventsunami

going back to school on Wednesday not POG at all

Raventsunami

@Chiisecake yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh let's gooo :,)
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Raventsunami

@MinYoongiSaurus aw man ): i hope it's going well for ya though
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Chiisecake

@Raventsunami we can suffer through first period together :,)
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Raventsunami

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idk what to do here? it's winter break, and I've finally got time. but i'm still so busy. I've lost all my friends but that's on me. social interaction terrifies me like crazy. my mental health has deteriorated terribly and it's a struggle to get through every fucking day, you know? i'm so sorry guys. thanks to everyone who was here on this platform. it was lovely meeting new people, making friends, and meeting you all. and writing too, that was fun. thanks a lot you guys, really.
          
          i probably won't be active on this account anymore. I'll be reading stuff, but i doubt I'll talk to others. I've honestly moved on from what I've been doing here for the past 3-4 years. i doubt I'll write because i'm so busy and I've lost motivation. i also don't know whether i should update my artbook because it's pretty useless. it seems pretty bitchy on my part as I've ghosted practically everyone I've known for months by now. i don't know what's going to happen from now on. but thanks guys.

Phoenix_Hwang

@Raventsunami it will all be worth it. Someday, it will.
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Raventsunami

@Phoenix_Hwang i hope so. i just don't really know where i'm going at this point though. maybe it's not worth it to meet new people
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