"Just By Living, People Hurt Others Without Even Realizing It. So Long As Humanity Exists, Hate Will Also Exist. There Is No Peace In This Accursed World. War Is Just A Crime Paid For By The Pain Of The Defeated."
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What if you know the consequences and everything but you still really want to kill? Revenge is one thing, but what if you just want to kill a random person? That imagining yourself stabbing them multiple times gives you an adrenaline rush, or a feeling of superiority, domination, elation? Like you want to smear their blood on the walls to see what you've done, and you want to do it again? Until you're caught?
I don't hate criminals. First I thought I was just only the antagonist type that I like villains more than the heroes, but when I got to know more about how the mind of a criminal works, I kind of how do I put this, understand them? I feel them. And it sucks, 'coz I know it's wrong... inhumane. I've been watching Ted Bundy's interviews and documentary's and I don't hate the guy I don't know why. People hate him, them, but I don't, in fact, I'm wondering what it feels like to be in their position. To kill someone and get away with it the first time to do it again. I don't like this feeling that when I see our knives or scissors that I just want to stab someone with it. But no, i'm not a psychopath nor a sociopath, I've researched about them and I can feel sympathy at times, though I'm bothered about what empathy really is. I'm really curious. And I don't want this curiosity go beyond the line but I'm also scared to seek help from professionals because what if they label me as someone crazy or they don't understand? Like they tell you they understand but they really don't and they'll start judging you? I want to keep my humanity but I don't know how long before I snap. I'm afraid of my own mind right now.
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