kay

I’M A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!
          
          GO READ MY FIRST PUBLISHED POETRY BOOK TODAY ON APPLE BOOKS ❤️↘️❤️‍ ILOVEYOU! 
          
          https://books.apple.com/us/book/sonder/id6448199623
          
          
          xx
          
          -Kay

"Ah, you thought that hurt me? I died a long time ago kid."
          
          -Nash Reynolds. 

ur background ommmmggg im fenna cry  

she died,
          but it’s never a sad thing
          death takes
          but “oh, the life she brings.” (someday i will stop saying this XD) 
          
          she breathed 
          the life into our sorrows
          
          and so, i can offer these words
          here’s a rebirth 
          
          there no hint or moment to miss
          here’s this 
          
          a subtle conversation piece 
          
          “where have you been?” confusion. 
          
          “‘Dunno, but i’m home now.” smile, maybe a shrug, she seems more relieved than mourning. 
          
          my red shirt, her gloomy room. pink essence. she’s older now. we both see.
          
          “me too.” goofy laugh. 
          
          we both see. 
          
          

maybe you’ll laugh and roll your eyes and say, “how dramatic, whatever that means.”
          
          poetry from a dead writer speaks. 
          
          “how deep.” amused.
          
          i too grow amused and confused on how these words could mean anything but love. but. love is not real. 
          
          she finally believes. 
          and that kind of poetry bleeds.
          
          all hopeful sonnets become a lie. 
          i have lied you see.
          
          i have died many years ago.
          nothing awoke her soul, except the promise of a lie.
          
          i don’t believe anymore 
          i don’t believe 

the only picture you’ll ever have to see
          the only poem you’ll need to read 
          the only don’t that i’ll ever sing
          
          until i wake 
          
          until i wake
          
          the words don’t sting 
          the songs don’t sing
          these eyes can’t see
          
          until i sleep 
          
          until i sleep

maam istg if u don’t republish all of ur 5sos fanfics <//3 i remember absolutely bawling over them when i was 14-15 

Today is for u

ill never thank god enough 
          no one has ever been so kind
          i will love u even when ur gone
          i don’t care
          i said what i meant 
          don’t wanna hurt you ever again
          so I’ll never text 
          Instead
          i leave u with this
          
          i took you for granted
          i was selfish
          
          but you loved me still
          even when mean
          manic 
          depressed 
          ugly
          
          
          you loved me still 
          
          i think i could never love again
          and die happily
          knowing 
          i was loved 
          by you 
          
          
          and god sent me an angel 
          that isn’t around anymore
          but you still give 
          your kindness 
          your love 
          i still feel it
          
          and at my very lowest 
          that makes me happy 
          
          so thank you
          i can never say thank you enough 
          i hope god relays the love that i can’t give 
          i hope you are loved 
          the way you love 
          
          you are 
          such a gift 
          
          
          not trying to be weird or anything 
          i just 
          feel so 
          
          lucky 
          
          it’s been over 
          
          but i don’t mourn it 
          
          after all 
          
          your love still gives 

master of making playlists 
          and writing literature for 
          people
          who will never see 
          or listen 
          or acknowledge 
          my subtle 
          screaming 
          existence 
          
          since 2017