THIS ACCOUNT IS NO LONGER IN USE.
i don't think anyone will see this, frankly that's understandable, i just wanted to write about how i'm feeling and i guess it could serve as an explanation as well.
at this point in time, i lack the motivation to write lengthy stories and i feel like no one enjoys them even when i do write them. i have a lot of ideas, but dragging them out into excessively long stories is tiring, boring and usually made up of unnecessary words to fill a chapter.
aside from that, i'm in my second last year of school and usually have assignments/homework every week, as well as early prep for exams. i don't have time to write after school or on the weekends, as that time is taken up by school work or catching up on sleep. i try my best to write in the holidays but i'm always exhausted and can't seem to focus on anything really. even now, i can't fully comprehend what i'm writing because i'm just so tired. at this point it's my mind that's tired, not my body.
initially, i wrote as a way to express myself creatively and to write the stories i wanted to read. nowadays it feels like a chore and just causes me stress. no one's putting pressure on me other than myself, but i've managed to convince myself over time that i have to write regularly, i have to put out work regularly or people will be disappointed. but who's even stuck around at this point? no one's waiting on my writing except for me. i know no one will even read this other than me, yet i can't seem to get out of that mindset.
thank you for 2k followers and for supporting my writing, but i just can't do it anymore. it's a matter of time and mental state; both of them are slowly deteriorating if i'm quite honest. i don't think i'll ever use this account for the purpose of writing again, but maybe one day i'll return.
regardless, i'll be forever grateful for the opportunities this account gave me, and the pride i felt when i surpassed certain milestones.
thank you, and i love you
- a
