@-CausticToxicity-
Hello! As of five minutes ago, I am now penetrational-legal. Luckily for me, life itself is going to have hard, brutal sex with my ass now as celebration. Let's go!
@-CausticToxicity- penetrational-legal is the wildest way I've ever heard it be said, and honestly, I'm down for it.
I've decided to get back into art! It was probably the first hobby I've ever truly enjoyed and realizing that I've kinda just thrown it to the side was pretty sad. It deserves better than that. So from now on, I'm going to be drawing at least one thing a day for the foreseeable future.
I don't plan on posting anything, just wanted to let someone know. Feels weird making a fairly large change in my life (which is definitely telling of how boring my life is) and not announcing it. Maybe that's kinda self-centered of me, I dunno.
I do know one thing though: eyes are really annoying to draw. Can never get them to look right, no pun intended.
Thanks for listening!
@-CausticToxicity- Also, eyes are indeed one of the more annoying things to draw, the only thing above that in difficulty for me being hands
@-CausticToxicity- If you don't know who you were, then I wouldn't spend so much time wondering who you were, rather than who you want to be now. I feel like it's kind of pointless worrying about who you used to be in the past when you still have the future ahead of you to forge in your own way.
This is just a wellness check, I guess. I'm not arrogant enough to think anybody really cares about these, but I can at least pretend.
Random vent time.
There's a part of me that doesn't want to annoy anybody because I already have so little going for me and there's another part that just wants to be heard. It's a monumental clashing of waves; an unstoppable force and an immovable object.
But it's not so black and white. There is no two sides of me warring. It's just me. And I barely even know who 'me' is at this point.
I suppose I'm something of a broken mirror, trying to stitch myself back together with no reference of what I looked like before. And all I have to show for all my struggle is a big mess of glass and some bloody fingers.
Writing is hard, man. I wish I didn't care about quality as much as I do. I spend a few months on something and then one day I just delete it because it doesn't feel right, and that cycle has been repeating for a good two years now. Feels like everything has to be perfect and it just ends up crushing you under that expectation, y'know? And all that's lead to is a continually declining interest in writing that doesn't feel the same anymore.
Seems like all my hobbies end up like this. Used to be good at art but I started to doubt myself and now I'm rusty and it's so unsatisfying spending a good hour or two on a piece when it always ends up so... meh.
I've recently started to play piano but it's really hard when you're autistic. I have a thing, I think it's called stimming, where my hands and feet are pretty much constantly bouncing and whatnot, and that really messes with me while I'm practicing.
It just sucks having to find new stuff to do all the time knowing that eventually you'll have to move on from that as well. Hoping this doesn't spiral into worse hobbies like gambling.
@IKnowWhatTheDogDoing Music is my go-to background noise for pretty much everything I do except writing. I get distracted too easily by the music and I spend a whole lot of time just vibing instead of writing
Well maybe you should try listening to music as you work it could help you concentrate while writing or doing other things that would require you to be still while doing I know it helps me whenever I'm doing my work
Hello! I am still alive.
Balls
How’s it going man?
I am not dead yet. I usually post on certain holidays so that anybody who cares (probably nobody) knows that I'm still alive, but I forgot to for my birthday. Hey, everyone.
I don't think I could handle listening to even a quarter of the SpongeBob soundtrack
@-CausticToxicity- just thought I should say the only real thing I know about that show. I am not trying to be rude and sorry if I am.
@-CausticToxicity- Fun Fact: That show is scientifically proven to make people stupid. I kriffing hate it.
Yeah! Balls. You know? Yeah, yeah you know. Balls.
hows it going, we haven't talked in a while?
