"I'm your father."

ON LONG AF HIATUS

"I'm your father."

"And I'm f*cking harambe with fairy wings from another dimension which came to save your ass from a fire breathing dragon with a sparkling puppy face. Now dear good sir, could you please leave me to read peacefully my beautiful Naruto fanfiction? I'm currently halfway through the climax. Shikako is finally revealing her secrets."

"No you don't understand I nee-"

"Oh shush I'm sure without a anime crazed 7 year old girl in your life you would live."

"But-"

"Nope."

"Plea-"

"The door's right there."

"No I-"

"Bye."

That ladies and gentlemen, was the first conversation I had with my father.
Uchiha f*cking Fugaku.