Cancer

This story is what I've writing for school and I need your feedback because this assignment is worth 200 points and if I fail this I'm going to be in a very bad spot. SO PLEASE DRAG ME DONT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH IF ITS BAD SAY IT. IF ITS BORING SAY IT PLEASE IM NOT LOOKING FOR PPL TO BE NICE I WANT THIS TO BE PERFECT. AND IM REALLYYYY BAD AT WRITING SO I REALLY NEED OPINIONS.

So if there's a word I should replace tell me tell me exactly what you think even if it's really mean.