The "Human Zoo" (Based on a true story)

So, basically this story is based on a true story and it's obviously in the title....and its about these rare tribal women being forced to dance for tourist's entertainment and Johnny (a boy) and Timmy (older brother) that find themselves held against their will. This is a short story and I wrote this with alot of work and effort and would appreciate it if you just took a look at it:) Thanks:)