prologue

help wanted:
looking for someone patient and skilled to teach me to play soccer. must know rules, techniques, and have knowledge of history of sport. needs to know how to play within a month or two. compensation is no problem, and can be discussed.
number 768-4386.
WARNINGS: - cannot kick balls - very uncoordinated - hopelessly bad at team sports - out of shape - doesn't know shit about soccer - may fall in love.