Harry Potter Chatroom Conversations

What if the Hogwarts students had internet? Would everyone else find out that:

1. Voldemort and Dumbledore have dance-offs?

2. Snape sings 'I Will Always Love You' about Lily?

3. Ginny is going out with Cedric?

4. Harry is cheating on Cho with Hermione?

5. The teachers spy on their chatroom convos?

6. And much, much more!