Breaking of the World

I added this story at the suggestion of a fellow writer who was at least encouraging to me about this story, She was very nice and and offered some sensible suggestions, if you all like it, I'll keep adding more to it until it's conclusion. This story is set in a distant different sort of future. One where the rules broke, if you all keep me writing I'll explain everything in due time but now, Meet the heroine of the story a young girl who worked in her uncle's shop....

and for goodness sake comment or something... I like the read counter but I'd like to hear what you all see the problems are and what not...