Intro to All The Dumb Fucks!!!

Welcome all, to my amazing.... *Pauses, as if waiting for something* Ummm... *Silence* Dammit, Mika!!! *Turns towards my girlfriend* You were supposed to drumroll!!! *Silence as she answers* What the fuck do you mean, you can't be bothered?!? *Sighs and turns to readers* Well, may as well just say it then... Welcome to My Fucked Up Head, also known as Dumbfuckistan!!! *Sighs once again and walks away muttering* Still not as good as with the drumroll...