Chapter 1- The Nightmare Begins

Preview: I just began to think. I just stood there thinking about how or why he even kissed me. I’m no one special and I never will be. The feelings I have inside are the darkest things anyone has ever seen, like someone’s turned out the lights and all you see is complete and utter darkness. The demons in my mind telling me to do horrible things to myself to make the emotional pain go away. But who cares anyway? Certainly not my mom. Certainly not me. I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. That’s all I keep saying to myself. Because if I keep saying it than maybe I will start believing it. I don’t care and I shouldn’t care. Why? Do you know what happens when people care? When people feel? When people show emotion? They fall in love. They fall in love and then they get hurt. Over and over again, everyone gets hurt from this stupid thing called love. Love, love, love. What is the point of love? What good does it do? Absolutely nothing. Pain but that’s all. Because in the end love will never work out I mean why would it. Why should love work out? Love is just a disease. I gave up on it years ago. Here I just was a minute ago talking about how I want Jason to kiss me. But that’s just it. I don’t know what I want anymore. I never really do. I say something, I mean another, and I do something else totally different. Does that even make sense? No I guess not.