No Strings Attached (Still editing and looking for feedback)

This is one of the stories that I wrote for my Creative Writing class, my senior year of high school. I wrote a series of 5 short stories all telling warped versions if some of the famous classics such as Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin and Pinocchio. Ultimately, I'm hoping to one day publish these, but I feel that they need a little more tweaking. Please feel free to leave any comments or questions. I hope you enjoy. Thank you.