PART 1: Didi's got problems...

A crazy story originally written in 2000 using Modern Talking caricatures as the protagonists. It should probably not be read by anyone. This is the updated version written some years later, where I corrected spelling/grammar mistakes and tightened up the prose and turned it into an actual film manuscript, but Wattpad doesn't really support that kind of formatting.

Basic premise: Turns out all the names in Dieter's songs weren't just random names, they were actual people, and those random people have finally decided to, ahh, unionise and demand the royalties they're owed for being the subject of platinum-selling pop songs. It all goes downhill from there.

What should perhaps be pointed out is that this was one of several insane stories written by a group of fans back in the day. One person, known as Mandana, started writing in this style, and then a few more of us tagged along because we thought it was an awesome idea. It was good fun while it lasted. :) You could say it's done in the cartoon style of "Dieter - Der Film", except these stories pre-date the film.

Mandana basically cemented the exaggerated characters into what is seen here. The stories all make loads of references to songs from their careers, public perceptions of them as people (including catchphrases, obviously), various interviews, and sometimes even rumours. I don't think any of us claim these stories are particularly well-written, just that we had lots of fun writing them at the time, not to mention reading them.

This story is dedicated to those girls: Mandana from Sweden, Jana from Russia and Elaine from Malaysia.