Chapter the First--Alarm Clocks and "Awful" Parents

What are the cliches that bother you the most in high school teen fic? You asked, you answered, and I rallied to the cause.

The following is what happens when you take every single miserable teen fic cliche you hate, shove it all into a book together, and let the wild happen. A parody of teen fiction. The inconsistent grammar is entirely intentional.

*Title by @Laprias. Ideas contributed by the good folks in the "High school cliches in stories" thread. Cover idea by @a-dora-ble.