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So I decided I need to stop ranting in my posts so this is just updates on my current mental state and also a safe space in case anyone else needs to rant and let it out, don't worry I'll leave PLENTY of room so just get it all out, and who knows maybe we'll even be able to help each other "recover" although for most of us a full recovery might not be possible we can always try to regain at least that little bit of stability and joy.