Description
Vanessa Black, age 13, enters Hogwarts like it's the Met Gala. She's short, stunning, lowkey terrifying, and walks in with a golden retriever named Chicago (who is not allowed, but no one says anything because she gives Snape mild cardiac arrests with her glare). She's sorted into Slytherin (duh), where she reunites with her feral friend group, the Outlawz- Draco Malfoy (Barbie), Theo Nott (unbothered king), Pansy Parkinson (CEO of eyeliner and insults), Blaise Zabini (too pretty to care), and eventually gains the reluctant respect of Hogwarts in general. Despite being rich, powerful, and way too elegant for her age, Vanessa cannot pass History of Magic to save her life. Like, literally. Nothing works. Even Hermione tried to tutor her once and ended up sobbing. Meanwhile, the Philosopher's Stone drama unfolds - creepy turban guy Quirrell is sus, Snape looks evil (but is just greasy and tired), and a three-headed dog guards a magical stone that gives eternal life. Classic Hogwarts Tuesday. 🤡Snippets: "You can't hex a prefect, Theo." "You can if you're fast enough." "I didn't push him. I encouraged gravitational exploration." "Why is there a goat in our dorm?" "Don't ask questions you can't handle the answer to." "I made tea." "Why is it glowing?" "I made tea wrong." "I licked the stone. It didn't give me powers." "The cat knows too much. We must silence it." "I challenged a mirror to a duel and lost. Emotionally." "Vanessa, put the Pixie down." "He insulted my shoes." "He doesn't speak English." "I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 39 HOURS AND I CAN SMELL COLOURS."
✨AN EXTREMELY SERIOUS DISCLAIMER FROM THE AUTHOR WHO SHOULD BE SUPERVISED✨
