Description
[Sequel to Clean - you need to read that one first] "Five years together. Five years apart. And still, you carry her voice with you. Still, when it's late and you're too drunk or too lonely or too honest, you hear her say your name the way she did when it was the only thing in the world that mattered to her. Selling the apartment won't fix you. It won't make her disappear. It won't erase the way she made you feel, the way she laughed, or the way you fucked it all up. You'll carry every inch of this place inside you-every memory, every fight, every night spent tangled up in sheets, in each other, thinking you had all the time in the world. But you tell yourself it might help, that maybe one day, the memories will fade-from this scarlet maroon, to quote yourself. That maybe if you leave this place behind, you'll finally stop searching for her in every city, every stranger, every quiet moment you don't know how to fill." This story starts 10 years after the ending of Clean. Taylor thought she and Karlie would have forever together. She was wrong. Five years later, she's still writing Karlie into every lyric, still mourning what they had, not even pretending to move on. Then one night at a fundraising dinner, there's Karlie across the room, radiant beside her husband. They don't speak. Can barely look at each other. But Taylor feels that familiar pull, that dangerous flutter of possibility, and she knows-knows-she's about to make a catastrophic mistake to kill whatever part of her still belongs to Karlie. What she can't imagine is just how catastrophic that mistake will turn out to be. And how it will change her life forever. CONTENT WARNING: throughout the story, there will be moments with vomiting, blood, self-harm, alcohol abuse, mentions of past drug use, mental health issues, pregnancy, abortion. I will try to remember to include the warnings in the chapters, I promise.
Prologue
