Description
Voldemort is back, and Harry's pretty sure he's going to show up on his doorstep any second now. As if that's not stressful enough, his summer wraps up with a frosty Dementor attack and a courtroom drama. The Minister of Magic seems to think her new job is convincing the entire magical world that Harry's just a kid with a wild imagination. At least there's the Order of the Phoenix, which, contrary to what it sounds like, is not just a bird-watching club. To make life even more fun, the Ministry sends a woman to Hogwarts who's got the sweetness of a sugar overdose and a smile that could rival a clown convention. She's there to turn the school upside down, all in the name of making sure students don't march on the Ministry with pitchforks. Under Hermione's relentless badgering, Harry starts a podcast to teach his fellow students how to defend themselves against dark wizards. Meanwhile, Harry keeps having visions of Voldemort and his search for some mysterious weapon hidden in the Ministry of Magic. Things get weird when a kiss leads to a snake attack. To top it all off, Harry gets sorted into a new Hogwarts House called "Umbridge," Quidditch is canceled (again), and Death Eaters break out of Azkaban. Even Dumbledore won't look him in the eye, probably because he's decided Harry's face isn't winning any beauty contests. But when Harry and his podcast listeners finally get to put their lessons to the test, they end up at the Ministry of Magic to save his godfather from Voldemort's clutches. What Harry finds there might just change everything-if he can survive the encounter and not fall into a sea of death. Join Harry and his hilariously dysfunctional friends in these 25 chapters as they navigate magic, mayhem, and misadventures in Scarred from the Order of the Phoenix. This is a fan fiction parody retelling of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling, written for non-commercial use.
Chapter 1: I Think a Rabbit Attacked Me
