Part 1: Who is this I see?

If a bald chicken runs 90 miles above Saturn and the sun falls on his head, how many times would he sneeze?

Answer: Purple. Because cosmic brownies don't contain star power.

Andrew was a smart, rich guy who didn't have a lot of experience seeing the world yet, despite having been a pimp on every continent. But that would change. Not because of a girl, no. He didn't believe in those sandwich-making cum-buckets. Not because of his friends. Friends are for weak loser bitches.

...It was because of his love for a certain person with a prominent yellow backpack. A man with as much manliness as himself. A man who also knew the true meaning of manhood. A manly man. A Mexican man.

...Read it and you'll realize the knowledge the gods wanted us to have. Our true meaning in life. The origins of the universe itself, and of masculinity. From Andrew.

Let us commence forth.

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