Prologue: "Just my Freaking Luck"

Ella Lopez was having a bad day... or week... or however long it had been. First there was being asked to drop her cool aunt act to deal with her friend's pre-teen daughter who had gotten herself suspended from school. Then there was the reminder than she had been in a real bad car wreck 18 years ago, today of all things, which had led to her life changing forever. Then she and Trixie had gotten themselves in another car wreck in which she may have died, and then, she had woken up in hell. If that wasn't bad enough, she was still alive, forced to journey through to Lucifer's throne against an array of dangerous threats, some of which probably wanted to eat her; and she was far too skinny for an appetising meal thank you very much. And just to add insult to injury, there's the Archdemon who wants to dissect her in the name of infernal science, and a Hellish murder mystery and political conspiracy on top of all of that. Clearly Lucifer and the Big Guy had a sense of humour.
Lucifer Morningstar hated live humans in his realm. Truthfully though he hated his realm in general. He hated the bickering between his Princes and Princesses. He hated when things weren't running smoothly and he hated it when his friend were in danger. By Dad was it too much to ask for a few days in the Underworld where he could sleep and have his erotic dreams about the Detective, or at least sleep with one of his more trusted minions to relieve some tension? Apparently according to Dear Old Dad, the answer was yes, which meant now he had to do some actual work instead of just pretending it didn't exist. If he ever saw the Detective on Earth after this was all over, he'd never moan about the paperwork again. Oh Hell what was he thinking? He'd moan about it less, professionals had standards to maintain after all.