How we met.. again

He was the stuff of my flamboyant dreams. Everything that attracted and repelled me. Something I wanted all for myself yet I didn't. He's someone I hate yet someone I've grown to care. I won't care if he gets killed but only if I kill him. Only I should see him in his vulnerable moments. Why have I started liking you?
When she was away, all I thought about was her. Now when I try to close the gap between us after 10 years of agony, she refuses outrightly. Ugh! Why don't you ever recognise my feelings? Why, my love? You don't see that I have lived these ten years only in the hope of finding you again.