Chapter 1

"I feel like I know Rick Parker. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."

- The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."

- Enid Kibbler

"Saying the wind blew like bouncing horses is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."

- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."

- Zob Gloop