What is so good about being good_?

I was about 10 years old when I had to kill my first to keep myself safe. I may remember other exciting and decisive events in my young age life as well, but never expected to one day be the main suspect of being a cruel serial-killer in a foreign country, I do not have memories of killing all that people, I may have a selective memory, it explain all the happiness when I heard that all of them were dead and the blood stain in my shoes.
In most of the other people 's I can be a miserable unlucky woman, but when I sleep, I am God.