part 1 written feb 2023 really good

The best people in your life are usually the ones you don't expect. The people who you never think twice about until it's too late and you've already been swept off your feet. Then, you're left with nothing to do but fall into the unfamiliar feeling that is both similar to and the opposite of anxiety. A feeling, typically associated with love, that most would describe as butterflies. This feeling is temporary nonetheless, it's just the momentary dopamine of a new romance. Still, many will spend their whole lives chasing butterflies and only ever catch moths. Others will catch a moth and convince themselves they can turn it into a butterfly, even though they cannot.