Part 1 - More and e̴v̴e̴r̴more ruined

"I know this is crap, but, hey, at least it can't be any worse."
The words of a fity-something in a seventy-one year old's body.
Well, it just got way, wayyy worse.
"So, you just jinxed yourself, congratulations!"
"You . . . YOU! If it wasn't for you, I would have died peacefully! My life was about to end! And now, I have to keep living, because you mistook me for . . . for AU me!"