C A S T

"There are moments in life that you dream about-plan for. You imagine every detail in crisp, vivid color and high-definition sound. And when that one perfect moment finally arrives, you pray the reality will come close to the fantasy you've built up in your mind.

And then there are those precious few times-when the reality blows your fantasy out of the fucking water.

That's what this is like for me.

Because that devilishly handsome man, in the perfectly fitted Armani tuxedo, standing at the altar of St. Patrick's Cathedral-that's me. Draco Malfoy.

And Hermione Granger just stepped into the church. Waiting in the back, a stunning vision in white, ready to take her first step down the aisle.

To me."

oOoOoOoOoOo

For most of my life, I never imagined I'd get married. But Hermione Granger did the impossible: she changed me. I think we can all agree I was pretty frigging awesome before, but now I'm even better.

The road to this day wasn't all rainbows and boners. There were mistakes and misunderstandings worthy of a Greek tragedy. But Hermione and I made it through with our inexhaustible lust, boundless admiration, and everlasting love for one another intact.

That being said, there were some unexpected incidents in Vegas last weekend that could have been a problem. It was kind of...my final test.

I know what you're thinking-what the hell did you do this time? Relax. Let's not judge, or call for my castration, until you've heard the whole story.

And hold on tight, because you're in for a wild ride. Did you expect anything less?