Philophobia

My names Castiel Novak. Im 15 years old. I live in Lawrence, Kansas. I use to live in Mansfield, Massachusetts until my mother overdosed due to depression. Well that's what the doctors said. I think it's because she fell in love with someone who just wanted her for sex. At first she told me it didn't bother her, but when she had me... Well that changed everything. My father was pissed. He wanted my mother to get an abortion. But she refused. When I was born. She told me she fell in love all over again. But a different kind of love. I never understood how she could fall in love with two people. But she did. Maybe she's the reason I have this. I don't know. All I know is that she died because she fell in love, not once, but twice. So maybe that's why to me being in love scares me. Maybe she's the reason I have Philophobia.