"Hey, you! You there! Yeah, you'll want to read this thing. ... Oh, what's it about? Well, it's about me. ... Who am I? Check out the title. That's me, Sebastian Waugh, fourth child of the Waugh family. You know the Waugh family; American Minister Waugh and Other Peoples Ambassador Waugh are, like, two of the most famous American wizards." "Get on with it!" "Shut up, Katie, I'm the main character! So, yeah, anyway, this is all about my life. Cool, right? I mean, I'm not just a normal super-handsome and incredibly talented teenager. I go on these amazing adventures and use my magic to kick the butts of all no-gooders and evil-doers." "You go?" "Fine, my friends and I go. Happy now, Katie? Anyway, you have to read it. Now! Trust me, our authoress - is that the female of author? - well, she just uses us to blow off steam. We don't really have a connected plot, I think. We'll just keep going forever and ever and ever." "They get the point, stupid." "I was done! Jeeze."